Hell Date!!

Aiight, so yal know I have a grown daughter which, happens to be the one that gives us the most trouble..Well, the bookends do, her and the baby girl..Now yesterday all the kids left the house, except the baby girl.  She is a lot to handle and she makes me nervous cuz i have anxiety and she don't have no friends, well I don't let her run around the neighborhood like she would like to. The older girls went to visit a friend, the little boy went down the street to play with his friends while they all left me home alone with the baby girl.  I was exhausted so, I didn't feel like taking her to the park, not to mention I was actually working (i work!).  I convinced her to lay down next to me and she fell asleep....YaaaaaaY!  Now, the oldest girl told me earlier that day that she had a date. This guy was a bit older but, I was like, ok...Now-apparently, the middle girl wanted to go with the oldest girl to her father's house to visit their other little brother.  Could you follow that?  LOL!! So, they get their stuff together and they leave.  We eat dinner and the little kids take their showers and go to bed.  It's after 9:30, I know this because it's when the little kids go to bed and the phone rings.  I don't answer the phone around here cuz ain't nobody callin for me and by the way, I need a concierge, a chef and a tutor cuz these kids are just too much responsibility for one person.  It's the oldest daughter?  "Mom! How do you get out of a date?!"  I start crackin' up!  "No Mom for real, help me!!" Initially I tell her, "Tell him you out!"  Plain and simple.  This doesn't work for her because my kids aren't as 'rude' as I am or, that's how they put it.  I'm not rude or mean, I just speak my mind whether you like it or not.  I'm definitely not going to sugar coat if for a dude that I don't care about nor like!?!?  So, I know they don't have the where-with-all to handle these situations in an assertive, mature manner as I would so, I play along...."Okay, okay Tosh...this is what you do.  Tell him, ummm ummm... say, say Oh Oh, say that your Daddy is @ work and your mother starts class tonight and you forgot you had to watch your little bro & sis!?  Yeah Yeah!"  "Okay Mom..Yeayau thanks...but, i don't want to fake on him all like that and burn my bridges cuz I don't want it to be all obvious when I never talk to him again..LOLOL!! I ain't feelin' him like that, you know?"  Yes Puddah, i know...If you was feelin' him, you'd feel it!" "Yes, right Mom!" It is then that I glance over to the clock and I'm like, oh shoot! "Puddah, it's kinda late for me to be going to a class, oops!"  "Oh yeayau, hunh!?"  This is when Daddy-quiet-face rolls over to put his two cents in-"Man, just tell him you gotta take your Mama back her car!" I repeat it to Puddah and we're both like, right Dad! Why couldn't we think of that!  Good job YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!  He says, "Well yal white girls actin' like yal game goofy!"  I laugh at him and give him a shove cuz we're NOT white!  After he solves our dilemma, he turns over and under his breath he says, "She ain't supposed to be using the car except to go to work. That's the last thing I was told.  O, but yeah, I forgot, white people are more lenient on their kids!" Whatever! So, then I ask Tosh, well, where are yal at now? She was like, well we just ate, and now we're about to go in the movies...So, I'm like (High 5) Do what you gotta do...At least she got dinner & a movie out of it!!  Make Mama proud!  LOL!!  Sheeeeeeeeeeeit! She doesn't know how many more Hell Dates she has to go!  It's only the beginning!  I'm married & don' had 5 children & all i can get is McDonald's & a Bootleg! LOLOL!!!  Man, what I wouldn't do for a Hell Date!