The Great Recession...

Broke. Can I hold a at least a couple dollas?! Eatin' salt & pepper sammiches & refillin' water bottles? Why is NO one hiring. Or rather, why are jobs so hard to get now a days?!? What is up with our economy?? When will we see it rebound? These Ponzi schemes & portfolio fabrications of thewell-off greedy; wanted to be rich so bad, they sucked the blood out of USa... Write you off to over seas, China got USa in a sling?! My dollar worth $0.30 I cain't take it no mo'! The poor been poor, they ain't affected as much...But USa, you know, the obliterated middle class that cain't get enough tax breaks. You tellin' me I need a shelter to extend my finance, net worth, maturation & retirement. Lookin' forward to 40 cuz i know it's gon' change in a MAJOR way! Lookin' at ya kids sayin' we ain't got it no mo', they facin' adjustments and downgrades just as much as the parents. It is this profound enrichment, that will build character & teach humility and you must embrace this life skills opportunity. Ain't yo glass half full?! Mines is, I laugh all day, everyday...In between the chicken & rice & the sparkling sugar water... We have to teach them the right way. Not to live above their means, not to try and keep up with the 'Jones'' Press into the Lord and he'll guide you where you're supposed to be. In the meantime & between time, you gotta work in the factory. Kids need shoes, coats, scarves, hats, gloves...why do they lose stuff? It's okay. Rise above your circumstance and look forward to THIS day. You on loan, don't you forget it, it's even deeper than that. Too many people are a check away from homeless, what happened to the days of saving joyfully and takin' a vacay? I don't understand what it's all about, be humble I'm tellin' you...It's a very spiritual cleansing experience. It gives me the high of dopamine, it rounds the person that I am! Let 'em know that education is the key...You must go out and get it. No ONE is going to GIVE it to you. Life just existin' is no way to live. WE must overcome those obstacles in this time of broke! What's the expression? You gotta GO through something to GET to something...It makes hella sense right?! I am breathing in this Great Recession, empowering myself by educating myself in personal finance. Share with your children what comes in and what goes out...I just want to extend my portfolio capacity-NOT saying that I have an extensive portfolio, I got $13 in a vibrator box in some boots in my closet. BoooooooooYaaaaaaaaaaw! How 'bout that! LOL!!! Yeah...but No it is imperative for me & mines to stay on top of times...Get it together eeeeeeemmmmegiate-LY! Ya undadig?! I know you FEEL me! What I want ME to do is, smile in spite of. Cain't change what you have NO CONTROL over. Make it happen fo' YO'SEEEEEELF! Don't give up on your dreams, aspirations or desires in this Great Recession...Just jump on over it & enjoy what you can. Re-org the family dynamics and find better ways to enjoy eachother for free or cheap. For example, I made me & my kids a strawberry/apple parfait. I cut up the fruit & made layers with Cool-Whip. Cheap & healthy, they smiled and appreciated my efforts as well as, the time they got to spend helping me make it and how it really was GOOD to them! Keep pinchin' them pennies & save them dollas cuz for now, the Great Recession ain't goin' nowhere and the water's gettin' higher!! Housing prices are going up but, your equity still ain't...Not to mention wit'out ya job you cain't buy a thang! It might get worse before it gets better but it ALWAYS gets better. My time is up & I can't call it...I got some lint in my pockets and a quarta' in my wallet.

Generation "NEXT!"

There's been an immediate interest in OUR youth of today. They sayin' these mofo's ain't gon' EVER put nothin' in the pot for me to use when I'm OLD! Yet, ALL this technology keeps evolving or, is that just the last li'l trickle of OUR generation?!!? It's no secret...I don't like (facetious) kids! I LOVE babies! No one told me that these babies would become people!!! Here it is...I am the parent in the household who is the lenient one. My husband is the stern, consistent, disciplinarian. He NEVER lets up! He is going to let you know right away! I believe in regards to parenting styles that this is normal. We have the same core values EXCEPT he enforces them sternly. I think one should discipline with love. I am in no way saying that I always do cuz I don't!!!!! I'm AM the FLASHER ASS SNATCHER! He's consistent! I am sporadic! I wanted to share how I am strengthening myself for this next damn set of kids I don' let a nigga knock me up wit! O, Wooosaaaaaaaa! Okay, On Friday, Moody, the 17yo, goes to school, work then, asks can she go to a party. "I'll be home by 12!" she tells me. I say, sure Moody, go 'head. I went out myself that not & got home @ 1:14. I washed my face put on my pajamas, made me some waffles & got in the bed @ 1:29 & began watch tv. Around 2:08 (A 17YO, RIGHT????) I hear, the giraffe burglar! She scalin' fences & stuff tryna get in..I hear Isis barkin' tellin' on her..Don't let tell 'em I toldja, Isis is a Rottweiler & that's exactly what she look like @ the midnight hour, a big, black, vicious, guard dog! They be tryna make it right by Isis! LOL!! I didn't budge! Where's your key? Oh, hmmm you gave it to the 19yo? Oh, too bad...don't worry, we'll get to her soon. The following day, she is excited to inform me that she is going to TAKE THE KIDS (Bennie & Leilani) to Rancho Solano for trick-or-treating, this is her dream yal!!!! Cuz they got the 'good' candy! Every year, they goin' to Rancho Solano! LOL! I promptly advised her that she would NOT be takin' them anywhere! "Mom, can I get $20 (she works, I don't) tho'?" "For what, Moody? You ain't goin' nowhere?" LOL!!!! Boooyaaaaaaaaaw! Her chin hit the floor! Got that ass!!! I remained steadfast in this decision & did not look back! How you comin' in after ya mama, the party hopper?!? GTFOH! Then, here come her li'l friend...light bright minnie mouse..."It's her senior year. Don't you want her to have fun, please, it's her senior year!" "First of all light bright, this is a FAMILY discussion so, turn yo power out for I bust yo line! Second of all, Moody got like 58 more Halloweens, GTFOH! LOL! Deuces! And in the house & in her room & in her bed she was for halloween....Oh well! Here it is here...The eldest, Puddah, my favorite they say...Well not on this day! Sunday, it was her day for kitchen. She didn't wash 2 pots. I gave her the KITCHEN for that day, Monday, a major clean up day, stove, microwave, appliances, sweep & mop! I get up Tuesday am & she ain't swept & mopped da nothin'! I was like, WOW! Really?! Really?! Guess what!? Right afterschool my Yellow Bunny (Moody) comes home in a panic, snatching my keys yelling that she gotta go save da eldest! I said, what? She then goes on to tell me that da eldest RAN OUT OF GAS ON I-80. I said, "So! Nope, you ain't goin' to get her!" It was the first time I'd ever seen karma work that quickly. From morning to afternoon. So yellow bunny is callin' me all kinds of names under her breathe from inside her room wit the door closed (i know this cuz i did it to my parents too) she was HOT! I didn't care! I'm sick & tired of these children disrespecting me & not having appropriate consequences of their actions! Mommy & Daddy cain't save you for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. Do NOT bite the hand that feeds you, know which side your bread is butter on. I don't know why they don't listen! I tell them repeatedly, "Okay! You gon' need me before I need you!" So, she finds a way...guess what?? They don' towed the car in the time it took her to put gas in a can. Wow! Really!? I don't believe that!! Oh??? They said you were obstructing the on-ramp! Wow!! Bamn! Damn! Not my problem but is. You gotta now, pay to get it outta tow. Wow! ANOTHER IN CASE OF DA 'MERGENCY SITUATION!! Got funds? Nope! More & more each day. Whatchu gon' do?! Don't know...Can't tell...I said all of this to say, I am very pleased to have allowed their choices dictate their consequences, NO matter what the circumstances were. They gotta be able to fly when I boot them out the nest so...IIIIIIIIIIIIIII NEED to be consistent, loving & approachable as my children progress through their seasons in life. It hurt me when I really didn't let Moody participate on Halloween & ONLY for ONE moment did I feel like I should have let Moody help Puddah & she may have avoided the tow. The reality is, Mommy is NOT going to be here forever & I want to have instilled compassion, commitment, consistency, critical thinking & most importantly, HUMILITY in MY children! This generation 'NEXT' is headed somewhere...I just hope that, what I'm doin' over here WILL attribute to the direction WE know they CAN go! It takes a village, literally! The next time you see a 'NEXT' generation troubled youth, spend a moment with them to encourage them about THEIR endless possibilities instead of why does his pants sag? What you say may compel him to pull 'em up!

Let me preface this please. Some things you just gotta get out. Healing is the process to happiness. I will NEVER forget my daughter & she is STILL a very big part of our family. One day last year, Bennie asked me what was I going to do with Sonie's tub of clothing, toys & effects. I barked loudly to him damn near cutting him off. "I ain't doin' nothin' with her stuff! It's going to stay in there!!" I guess my tone made him understand that I wasn't ready. Everyone is different. We all process grief differently. I believe some things should be shared. I'm telling this to get it out and continue my healing>happiness growth. I am in no way sad or distraught. This has been my life for the last 10 years and I deserved to live on, to have a life to care for my other 4 children and husband. What my hope is, is that my story can help others. A young mother, a relationship/friendship. We are not promised tomorrow and should cherish our relationships. I am sharing this to pique your awareness about SIDS. I wrote this essay for English and I hope it's as vivid to you as it is to me.

Born To Die

“Sakinah, come look at this,” my husband said to me in a serious yet concerned tone. As I opened my eyes, I saw the time on my alarm clock read 6:07. “Oh shit! I said aloud, “ I overslept for work!” At the time, we had been having trouble with mice due to the unsavory OSHA standards kept by our landlord. I jumped out of bed to see my husband’s “latest catch.” As I stepped into the living room, he brought my attention to our daughter, Sonie Jane. He says, “Look, I just woke up and found her like this!?” I peered down to her and I immediately assessed that she was not breathing. The side of her face was a fuchsia color. I picker her up and she felt hollow. I sprang into action; I did not panic. “Bennie! Give her CPR!” I ran to the phone and dialed 9-1-1. The operator picked up, “My daughter is not breathing, she is 3months old, and I live at 445 Arkansas St!” CLICK! I hung up the phone, crying hysterically.

I dialed my sister Waseme, a nursing student who, lived around the corner. I screamed to my sister what was happening as best as I could and hung up on her. I then called my mother crying and screaming. I hung up with her and watched my husband perform CPR. It was then that my sister burst in the front door and I watched both of them try to give CPR to my baby. Inquisitive as I am, I could tell that for some reason, those 2, who were highly trained to perform CPR, were having trouble. Not two minutes later I could hear the fire truck and the ambulance arriving. In the chaos, my 2 older daughters and son came into the living room and they were confused and crying. My neighbor yelled to me, “Sakinah! What is wrong?” She knew that it had to be very serious. I don’t recall what I told her but I do remember her telling me to give her the kids.

The EMT’S had Sonie connected to a machine and they were working on her frantically yet methodically. As my sister and I watched from the balcony of my upstairs apartment, all I recall was cringing watching the machine as it would show a heart rate and then it would go flat. It did this over and over and over again. My mother arrived in tears and my sister said, “Come on, Boop! Let’s go meet them at the hospital!” I was reluctant to leave Bennie but my sister assured me that Derrick, her husband, would bring him. My sister drove expeditiously down Broadway St. to Kaiser-Vallejo. We hopped out of the car and I stood there, pacing, anxiously anticipating the arrival of the ambulance. As the moments passed by, I began to rationalize. I looked at my sister with despair. “Where is the ambulance?" I said to her. I continued, "The ambulance ain’t comin’ cuz….If they not comin’ it’s cuz…If they not comin’ it’s cuz the coroner is just going to come out! Waseme!” I yelled to her. She held me to calm me down and then we saw her husband, Derrick driving up with Bennie. At that moment, I felt a sliver of hope but found it eerily weird that the ambulance wasn’t close behind. They pulled up to us; my husband hopped out and said, “Honey..........Sonie passed!” I yelled in horror, crying inconsolably in my husband’s arms. Sonie was pronounced dead at 6:38am.

As we drove back to our apartment, the ambulance was still there. An EMT approached me and told me that she, Sonie, was inside the ambulance and that I could take as much time as I needed. I climbed into the ambulance sobbing. I picked Sonie up to hold her for what would be my last time, I began to reflect on my observations. The fuchsia color on the side of her face was where the blood had settled. She felt hollow because her spirit was already gone from her body. As numb as my body felt when I sat there holding my baby she just looked like she was sleeping. I glanced down and noticed the rigor mortis in her tiny little foot and its disposition was unnatural. It was a very quiet fall day, September 28, 1999. It still felt like summer that morning except it wasn’t hot but rather warm and calm. I sat there, on the side street of our apartment building, in the rear of the ambulance holding onto my daughter’s shell. Bennie’s mother arrived to see her granddaughter. In any other circumstance one would be conscious of ones time but in that situation I was completely selfish and sat there, mind racing, emotions overflowing holding onto my daughter, our daughter.

The rest of the day was somber. My sister was out running errands for the planning of Sonie’s funeral when she called me and asked me if I wanted to come down to the casket place. I was eager to oblige because at the time, what I hadn’t shared with anyone was that I had a vision the night before Sonie passed of her in a white casket with gold hardware. I immediately shrugged it off as an insane daydream. I never told anyone for months because I didn’t think anyone would believe me nor, did I want anyone to think I was crazy. So, when I walked into the casket place and they ushered us to the children’s caskets and there it was, a glossy white casket with shiny gold hardware! A chaplain came out and spoke with our family about the tragedy and provided comfort, resources and support. A detective confiscated some of my daughter’s personal effects for their routine investigation of my daughter’s death.

My daughter’s death was ruled SIDS. The worst part about a death like this is that it doesn’t provide a definitive closure. It wasn’t as if she had a terminal disease and died of complications. The way it is explained is, the child forgets to breathe. Sonie was the only child that my husband and I planned. I even did research on the Internet to find a sure way to have a girl. I went through many emotions with God. I was very angry with God. I recall saying over and over, “Why me God? Why me? Why my daughter? Why?” After many spiritual interventions, it was then that I realized why not me? I found solace and humility in knowing and believing that God chose Sonie for His purpose, not my purpose. She is the child we had, but never had and yet will have forever. It was this heart-wrenching experience in my life that taught me that we are ALL here on loan. We are literally, born to die.

Konichiwa!! I'm in Japan!

Konichiwa! I'm in Japan yal! I ain't ever think I'd come here but...this is where I'm at! As soon as my parents got word that Bennie wasn't coming, they knew they were gonna hafta come and get me! So, we boarded our plane on Labor Day for an 11 hour flight! When i arrived at SFO, I wasn't even afraid. I was soo happy to see my Mom & Dad However(comma), traveling with old people can be a challenge. She's always hungry, he's always right! Wow! This should be interesting...As soon as they step off they plane from Philly, I know there's gonna be problems. My Mom calls me panicked cuz they don't see me! Umm?? Hello, I wasn't meeting you @ your terminal, I was meeting you @ our terminal for our departure! I'm near the Gucci & Coach store and she says, well i'm walking down a long hall & we don't see you Boop! Duh!?!? Ain't nothin' but long halls in da airport! So, while they takin' forever, I decide to go to the Hot spot to get on facebook. Buuuuulllshit! Not for free, not at SFO u ain't! I packed up my laptop & went back to waiting for the 'old people' I got my food, they have their food...We need to go to currency exchange cuz they only accept Yen...I am a smarty pants. I only exchange some of my money so, that way when i ran out of Yen, I'd either A) stop shopping or B) ask Daddy! I chose the latter. LOL!!! The flight over was cool. We were on United Flight 885. I didn't feel very secure about being on a United flight, post 9-11. Once we landed, I was elated because, I was now REALLY in Japan! After we got our luggage & came out we saw my brother, Scottie. He looked the same. I mean, it was only a couple of months ago, i saw him, my Mom & Dad. After the flight we still have to take an hour & 1/2 train ride into Kyoto, Japan. WTF?!?! Okay! $35? I ain't got it! Nope! Can't pay it, won't pay it! We get to the train station & then head to our 'apartment' for the week. We settle in, and we want to eat. Eat!? Damn! I forgot I was gon' have to eat over here! Shiiiiiiiiiiit! I know it's the land of the fish & I DON'T like fish! Uuuuuugh! Shit, man! Daddy says, don't worry Sakinah, try it first. Okay okay okay...I will try it but i may not like it! First of all, I don't know what the heyell these people are saying to me...I don't know when to bow & when not to! All I know is, what is we eatin'?! We go to this restaurant (all restauants are tea houses) and we gotta take off our shoes. Take off my shoes????!!!??? Ummm?! Wait!? O..C..D..I caaaaaain't! iLLLL! Touch the floor?? I on't want to!!! My Daddy knows, he grabs me by the arm & pulls gently, "Come on, Boop! It'll be okay? You can take a shower when we get home." Shower, home?!?! Oooooooh shit! Imma miss my island! Where is my husband? Dammit! Okay...Okay...Okay...Now, i took my shoes off but, i don't know about this food? Tea House...Sittin' on the floor...Calamari, Octopus, Squid, Mackerel...What about crab, or lobster, or shrimp!? Nooooope! Now, this is how they eat...It's not like an entree where you get your protein, starch & vegetable. Noooooooope! They shovel out a bunch of plates with different cuisine & give you small portions (Asian portion). The food that also comes out is "sashimi" which is raw fish! Oh hell to the no! I am NOT eating that! So, my brother, his fiancee & my parents are eating the food...I kinda mull over a couple of things and don't really eat much of anything. Then lastly, the rice comes out! Yes, you ain't gettin' that rice wit ur food...it's for after it! They typically eat mostly sushi rice too! Sushi rice aiight but, can i get some neck bones on top of that, please?! Nope! Don't want none of that! My Mom dared to try it tho.Whatever! So, I although I ain't leave the restaurant starvin' (insert stomach touching your back, here) but it was definitely an experience. One night over & i'm happy! We swing b Scottie's apartment & I get on his "Skype" line, u know, the phone wit the Vallejo metro #? Yeayau...No one answers! The one person I knew would be up, Derrick didn't have his bluetooth on...So, i ain't speak to no one in my family! Uuuuuugh! The plan for the next day was to go to the Temples. We get up the next morning & head out to the "Temples." We ain't goin' shopping?! Uuuuugh! This gon' be a long week! My Dad already had certain places mapped out that he wanted to see. The first, the Golden Pavilion. All i can tell u is that this place was beautiful, the Pavilion is real gold (not solid all the way through), the people don't play about keeping it together...In Japan, monks (priests) volunteer at the grounds to keep them clean. It was a bit of walking and i wasn't mad, i was still thrilled that i was in Japan!! There were souvenir stores throughout the place and there was green tea ice cream... We'd been walking in the heat & I was hungry. I was sooo happy that we were going to a McDonald's!!! I have been on the McChicken mini meals so, I already know what I'm orderin'. Language Barrier (LB) she had no clue what I was trying to order. Luckily my new sister in law, and brother were able to order what i wanted. I grabbed my tray and walked up the stairs (yes, there's an upstairs everything) and sat down to eat my food. First of all, the McChicken is called a, "Chicken Filet-O!?!" and the patty is like a triangular shape, definitely different from the shape of ours! Whatev! It hit the spizzoooooooooot! We walked (barefoot) through the 'sacred' Rock Garden went to two more Temples with families that still lived on the grounds as well as some otha people up in a buildin' in a crypt. Why do I see dead people? LOL! They build around sacred places such as, graves. The shopping in Kyoto, is similar to "The Alley" in Los Angeles or, "Canal St" in New York except, it had covered streets. The last place we went to was an electronics store. I needed a jump(a USB to Ethernet adapter) for my laptop to connect. My Mom & Dad had no cell service and I thought Metro would work in Japan so, I was a little disappointed and hadn't spoke to anyone in the states since I'd arrived there almost 2 days ago. As soon as we got home I hooked it up and called home! Well, I iChatted with them. I didn't really know for sure the time of day because I get nervous sometimes when my mind has to process too many things at once. The ichat was connected and I saw all my kids! I was soooo excited and they were too. They all had a thouwow questions for me & we were all talking over eachother from excitement. After they spoke to "MumMum" & "PopPop," Bennie came to the computer and it amazes me how long Bennie and I have been friends because, as soon as we see eachother we talkin' bout sports, my realityTV shows, who's cooking and the kids. When someone knows you, they know exactly what you want to talk about! I was relieved. Soon I grasped the time difference, and was able to see the kids everyday afterschool. I slept in Japan from midnight to 5:30am and around 8am the kids would be home from school, I'd be getting ready for the day. And of course, Nicky. The following day, we went SHOPPING! We go downstairs to the Cafe & decide to have coffee & tea. Listen, when my Dad goes in, he goes ALL in! So Mommy & I order 2 coffees & he a green tea. Our coffees are brought to us on the open patio, while we people watched & talked. My Dad was a bit behind us so, his tea came later. When his tea comes out it is in a cup with a small pot (like the 4 cup coffee pots they have in a hotel room yet, not a suite), with tea leaves, tree bark & marijuana seeds (O, don't ack like u ain't never seent no seeds, LOL) As the avid coffee drinkers that we are, we order 2 more refils and he another. Because I know that between Bennie & Daddy I'm going to have a 'good' time! Before Scottie arrives, I jump to volunteer to pay the bill ;) Haha! Jokes on me! Not fault to the language barrier, that is what she said, "2400 Yen." What?! GTFOH?! $24!! Is it because I drink it for free @ home or what?! Oh well, take it on the chin. We shopped all day and took in the city. From the way that they drive on the right hand side of the car & drive on the left side of the street. I thought I would get in an accident cuz i wasn't ready. The way most restaurants are tea houses, and how you must take off your shoes & sit on an illusion that you're sitting on the floor. They actually have a sunken space under the table so it's appears as though you're sitting on the floor although you really are?! Follow that? You don't see nasty, grimey public trash receptacles. People ride everywhere on their bikes, if you smoke, you carry a portable ashtray for your butts & your ashes ;) as well as the common thread of small dogs. Since no space is wasted in Japan, they typically have a small pooch. I did however, see one big dog. Only one tho'. This place was like nowhere I'd ever been before. With all my resistance, I was secretly admiring this experience. Initially, I thought I'd be able to cover 8 FILLED days in Japan in just two posts. I now realize that it has to be 3 and possibly 4. Stay posted...

Overnight Celebrity

Okay so......many of you may not have known that we (Nicky & I) have been taping our own 'Live', streamin' on the internet, outta the youtube, ghetto studio show! Now, all my life I've known I was a superstar...Not forreal but, forreal but, not forreal!?! Did you follow that? The show is cool I mean, I don't make any lies about who I am so, it was just a matter of being comfortable behind the camera. Now, I did drama in high school & college so, performing isn't a big deal but, the show is a concept in the making so, who knows what's it's gonna look like from day to day...So far, so good...I'm jus tryna make sure you cain't see them Raley's donuts i got on! LOL!! Seriously, i am definitely changing biologically cuz i used to be able to eat annnnnnnnnythang I wanted to! Oh well, and such is life!? Dammit! It was easy to do nothin'...Noooooooope! Not anymore...So, what really needs to happen for our show is simple: We need a camera crew to follow us around & then it would be helllllllllla funnier!! Bringing it in the 'studio' e'ryday can be challenging especially when you on a camcorder! So, on Sat we had our friend follow us with this same camcorder & look @ what happened! O! yal don't know cuz Nicky's friggin' editin' ass ain't looked @ it or done nothin' wit it yet! Oh well.....I'm quite sure we will have a better show because it's all more natural cuz that's just how we are. Another thing, it's so humbling for people to mention to us that they are watching it and love it! That's great! I haven't told my Daddy yet cuz, you know, my Daddy thinks I'm still 8! I on't think he'll like all of what I may say. I told Nicky how I realized why I say the things I say. Here it is: I have ADHD, OCD & I'm somethin' like a genius! Now, yal know that geniuses are typically 'special' right? What happens is, my brain is processing so fast that mah mouf cain't keep up wit the signals...So, by the time my brain tells mah mouf to say something, my brain is already 12 sentences down the road & by the time it spits out it has already edited what it processed as, it is already too late!! Did you feel that?! It's kinda like when you send an email in Outlook & you messed up so you try to recall the email but, the person you wanted to recall it from already read it and it's too late???!!?? I do however, enjoy doing the show! I'd be lying if I said I on't wanna blow up! That wud just be insane! What I can say is this, i may not expect to 'blow up' but i definitely expect to have a lot of fun just doing the show!! I love it! I get to be myself on another platform! I don't know what would happen if i did blow up! I ain't gon lie and say that I wouldn't buy ANY fancy clothes. So, I will definitely be buying some expensive shoes (gotta keep the feet good) but, i'll have a hankering to get to Ross, Marshall's & TJMaxx! LOL!!! The down side is what I'm beginning to see already! I won't be able to be home with my family...I'm not going to be able to watch all the NFL games, NBA (Lakers) games, i won't be around to watch my family anymore? Who's gonna take care of them??? They Daddy ain't gonna know what to do like Mommy!? Can I survive as a celebrity?! I think I definitely could because it fits my personality to a T! I thrive in a fast paced, ever changing environment. I know i can pass the drug test cuz i on't want NONE of that Michael Jackson sleep so, they won't need to send me to Lindsay Lohan, Brittany Spears rehab! You know how people become famouis & then they choke! It all becomes too overwhelming for them & they fall off!? I don't think that would happen to me only because I've been through so much, I know that only the strong survive! I must say it would be a life-long dream come true, and I'll be able to take care of my entire family. It would allow me to branch off into other things I've dreamed of. And then what can they say about the teenage, single, welfare mother who made it outta a BAD relationship & made it BIG!?!?! All they could say was that I became an Overnight Celebrity!!?

Guilty Pleasure

I was invited to a co-ed Pleasure Party on Sat & decided to go. I asked Bennie if he'd like to go & to my surprise...He said ok! Maybe cuz his other guy friend wanted to go to!? Anyhoo... Typically, Bennie and I are color coordinated wherever we go! Took him a looooong time to even start going along with that but i think it was cause I said it signified unity? Go figure! I usually start with his outfit this way it'll be easier for me to dig out those same colors from my closet. So, Bennie is a man's man..He has this athletic, model build. He has no stomach (I guess not all alcoholics are affected...LOL!) and I'm trying to bring him along to the new 'look' He ain't havin' it...He says, that's (insert expletive here)!!! However, I have been able to introduce some of the 'look' into his wardrobe just not too much..Buster! How you gon' have a stylist as a wife & you don't listen to her! His friends that know what's up be like, "You stuuuupid, dude!" So, Saturday I figure, i'll have him wear some dark wash denims & a white, crisp, fitted, v-neck t-shirt! Nooooooooope! Not havin' it! I've been trying to tell him that he just need to trust me BUT-I appreciate his curtness because, that is rule #3 of "Perfecting Your Style" 3) If you ain't confident in it, then you can't get in it! Ya dig?!?! I ask him will he wear it, nooooope! Okay, moving on! My girlfriend, Bennie & his friend go to the party & they're so happy that I ain't a drinker (not like that anyways) cuz I would be our designated driver for the night! We brought a big tupperware container full of Paula Deen's "Sweet Chicken Bacon Wraps" (recipe can be found on food network), a bottle of Pinot and a bottle of Killa Tequila! We get there & there are like about 20 or so women, and ummmmm, yeah-2 guys! Bennie & his friend! I'm sure that just made them sooooooo warm & fuzzy on the inside! They all of a sudden grew into these Super Gentlemen! Now, his friend that's expected but, Bennie, ummmm nope! He ain't got that gene. So, we minglin' and eatin' and just having a good time. As time passes, people are getting lit-especially the people I brought, LOL!!! If you don't know Bennie & I, then you may not appreciate that we have a 'unique relationship.' Sometimes we make people nervous but, who cares? We are who we are...I am not INSECURE when it comes to my husband. I know that Bennie is gonna talk to the women, flirt wit the women & he may even grope a woman BUT he's gonna always bring his check home to me! LOL!!! Gold diggin' bi#*$! Now, I did tell him to stop grabbing booty's because one day he may squeeze the wrong girls butt & she yell Kobe Denver Bryant!! LOL!!! So, he usually starts in & basically, we figure out which girl is his type cause that's who's he's gonna flirt with the most, while I continually apologize for my husband's indiscretions cuz he's retarded!!! Usually, the women are offended that he is doing this in front of his wife but, then they see this smile on my face mixed with a shameful shake of the head as if to insinuate, "I cain't take him nowhere!" LOL!!!!!! So, as the evening moves forward, he's been bartendin' all them women drinks while he sneakin' a shot unda da bar o' somethin!! He's tipsy...Oh boy! He again, starts flirting wit everybody, I'm sooo sorry yal....LOL!! Everytime we go somewhere where there may be alcohol I usually provide a disclosure up front, "I'd just like to apologize in advance if my husband does anything inappropriate to you." Now, of course he ain't gon' really touch a woman (well other than the butt feel, ;) ) but, i think it's his way of escaping being a married old man!! Poor thing... So, I play along...Poor baby! LOL!! What was sooooo damn funny to me was that this was a party full of women, but black women @ that! In case yal don't know, Bennie don't like black girls!!? LOL!! You may be wondering how in the heyell did she marry him them? Well, I told Bennie that I was white...aaaaaand, he bought it!!! LOL!! Nah, I just think cuz he got me knocked up he figured he may as well marry me then?! Ya know, tryna do the right thing! LOL!! I told yal we ain't start goin' together until we got married! Bennie was NEVER my boyfriend. He went from best friend, to baby daddy to husband! LOL!!! Anyway, back to the party...There was only this one girl (light skinned, long hair) that I'm sure he liked....I just told her, "I am soo sorry but, you're my husband's type, so let me apologize to you again!" LOL!!! Meanwhile, I'm tryin' to buy me a product called Head Game cuz ya know I love head games!!! But, the chic ain't really have enough of e'rything! So, basically I'd have to order it! The party is winding down & we genuinely had a greaaaaaaaaat time!

I Love the Kids!

Okay, having a whole bunch of kids is my fault! I mean, it's my mama's fault for givin' me these good juices I got & my grandmama's fault for making me fertile! So, at the end of the day, if i wuda just kept my legs closed...I wudn't be in dis pre-dic-a-ment! I know yal heard me say this before but, "I don't like kids!!!" Unfortunately for me, kids seem to always like me...No matter how mean I try to be with them! My kids are no exception!! Not to mention, I am an easy target cuz their Daddy, my husband acts like he's a Mute!!! Let me tell you what they don' put me through in the past week! Let's do this in birth order! If you've been following dis blog, den you know I'm always gettin' rid of that oldest one! Now, she asked to come back home for the .....See, i don't even know which time this is i think like the 14th time or so...Anyhoo...She was to stay here over the summer & then she was off to the Air Force, right?!? Wrong! She got home, got comfortable, got some food, got a bed, had total access to an automobile & now we cain't shake that ass! So, I cudn't take it..I sat her down a month or so ago & I told her she has until Sep 1, 2009 to get da futch out! Yesterday she wanted to have another 'come to Jesus' talk with me! "Mom, I don't wanna leave!?" Me: "Aaaaaaaaaw hell nah! U gots to go!" Her: "No Mom, cuz i need to stay home because then i can make it..I think i know what i want to do wit my life & blah blah blah blah blah!" I'm thinkin' to myself, there's only a small percentage of people who actually know what it is they want to do after high school so, i'm givin' her the blow fish mouf cuz I'm thinkin' buuuuuuuuuuulllllshit! I basically tell her that she needs to talk to Mommy & Daddy and then we can see...I thought i was done wit at least one?! WTF!? Hated it! Uuuuuuuuugh! How can you evict someone that you gave birth to & love wit'out hurting their feelings...She's been such a pain in my ass but, I've always told my kids that they could stay home until they're married if they want to! Anyway, all of that is to be expected from her...Let's move on to da wunderfur middle child Ebony...Ebony's friend did her hair the other day & i asked Ebony to do my hair the next day...She did...My weave is un-be-weave-a-ble!! However(comma), apparently she dyed her hair & has seemed to have an allergic reaction...She got a few bumps on her forehead and a patchy one that look somethin' like a ring worm..Then she shows me 3 strands of hair that are missing in the front & wants me to 'touch' her scalp on da inside so i can feel the bumpy puss stuff in her head! Illlllllll! Yal know i got OCD..Cain't take it! I'm tellin' her, Ebony it looks like you've had an allergic reaction...she's like, "Mom, no feel it!! Feel it! And it hurts!" Buuuuuuuuulllllllllllshit! Next thing I know she's on the phone wit the advice nurse...Chile why did they make them phone #'s published. Any old dummie can look up the number and call! LOL!!! She comes back with the phone in her hand talkin' about, "here....here" The advice nurse about to call CPS on me cuz i'm like, ain't nothin' wrong with her..She's like, "Are her lips swollen?" I'm like, hell nah! Ebony don' told the lady that her lymph nodes are swollen but, because these kids text-talk she ain't annuciatin' the lady thought she said her LIPS were swollen! Doofus! She lifts up her weave to show me that her lymph nodes are in fact inflamed...Here's the secret folks...Ebony's lymph nodes holds her junk there for a while, it is not abnormal for her lymph nodes to be swollen..When she was a li'l girl she walked around lookin' like Frankenstein cuz her lymph nodes was on Fiya!!! LOL!!! So, needless to say, this hypochondriac was told to take some damn Benadryl! Duh! I toldjal i ain't got no degree but, i know a li'l bit about a li'l bit! How u gon' be abusin' drugs & you ain't even famous yet, Anna Nicole!? LOL!! My son, Bennie... Ahhhhhh yes! My 1 and only son (well Ebony is our other son but, she's biologically a female)....This boy is in the beginning stages of puberty! Oh Laaaaaaaaaawd!!! So, he bouncin' around at da compuuuuuuuuuterrrrrrrr doin' "the Jerk" e'ry 5 min...He on there makin' videos & postin' himself on Tha YouTube! OoooooooMG! This faux-hawk wearin', skinny jeans wearin', pullin' the front of his shirt over his head to expose his chest (that doesn't even exist), runnin' holes in my carpet, beautiful child of God is gonna make me give him the people's elbow! How you 11 and u think u need to tap into your swagger?!? Ummmm?????? Did i mention he's been counting down the days til his birthday!? Yesterday, 2 more days Mom! Today, 1 more day Mom!!? So!!! I don't give a futch! Ain't nobody buyin me nothin'!!!!! Then, there's baby girl, Leilani...Yal know this little girl makes me nervous! Yal know i come in my room and hide under my bed when they leave me home alone with her...She is certifiable! SERIOUSLY!!!!! Her tagalog has gotten much better so, i don't have as much trouble understanding her (well, only over the phone, now)...This li'l girl jus wanna get in where she fit in...I can be in the bathroom & she'll bust in like she on COPS or something! I play hide and go seek with her & if i'm it i just don't go look for her! LOL!!! She is so competitive she doesn't come out of hiding until she hungry which is about e'ry 5min..LOL!!! This is what plays in the background e'ryday..Think of Li'l Dez in the MVPuppets commercials during the NBA playoffs...Mom can i have a banana? Mom, can i have an apple? Mom can i have some grapes? Umm Mom, what's for lunch? Can i have a snack for lunch? Do u have to ask if you want some yogurt, Mom!? Ooouu Mom, what you eatin' can i have one of those square, yellow bananas (a banana now&later....LOL) Uuuuuugh! This is her latest thing...She don' took a Keds shoe box out of her closet...put her brother's PSP inside the box (how you gon' give him a Christmas gift that he already has for his birthday that you ain't even buy!?!?!!?)...Then she wrote on it with a sharpie, "Ben Ben's birthday pressent in 3 days(crosses it out), Ben Ben's birthday pressent in 2 days(crosses it out), Ben Ben's birthday pressent in tomorrow! Now do yal see what i gotta deal wit!!!!! Now, yal see why i be hidin' under my bed, takin' long drives off the bridge, takin' classes that don't have nothin' to do wit my major & facebookin'...LOL!!!!!! At the end of the day, I love the kids!!!!!!!

Making Tough Appearances!

I know I'm a trash mouf! I know I cuss too much! Lord, help me! I realize the sins in me! My flesh is compelled to do what it wants to do! Uuuugh..Imma get it together! So, Nicky & I had a gig to do on Sunday, The 'Mac Dre Day' function... Now, if you really know me then, you know i'm bullshittin' yet, you'd also know that I am nuckin' futs & I believe every word of this. So, we weren't very happy with our agent about his scheduling of this event however, a payin' customer is a payin' customer & we figured we cud at least make an appearance. There was no time constraints at all which was good but we still had to go nonetheless. We haven't done many 'picnics' this year so, why the heyell not! Not to mention, Richardson Park is our park...As we make our way into the park we realize that ALL eyes are on us... I know, I know, sometimes it's very shocking for people when they see celebrities @ their functions. We're used to this, we see this all the time when new people come into the gym while we're filming..Now, what we didn't expect was the absence of the grown & sexy folks. The first person we see whom is a long time friend (i won't mention his name) who happens to look like a Suga Toof Wolf Pimp..You know who you are... No disrespect! As we begin closing in on the crowd we can see yet still, that these people are very young...We see tents & we thought for a second that we were @ the wrong venue, we thought we were @ Collin's Lake..I almost brought the bug spray outta my purse! Sheeeeeeeit! Okay, moving along...We got this...We can do this...We notice there are people using the 'porta-potty' Oh.. hell no! I wudn't give a s#@!$! If i gotta pee the volume of 3 pregnant bellies in the 3rd trimester...I'd rather take my chances in a bush around da co'na somewhere then in that nasty thing! Yuuuuuuuuuuck! Anyhoo! We sashay on past them and keep it movin'! We had already ran into a old female friend who was busy with her granddaughter but, we were finding it amazing that we still hadn't seen at least 10 people we knew by then...No such luck! Keep it movin'! By the time we got to the end of the park, the parking lot...we had only seen 3 more people..1 chick we lovededed in high school, ano chick we ain't seent since God told Noah and she looked like Halle Berry when she played Gator's girlfriend in Jungle Fever, I swear to Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd, & a loser dude! Uuuugh!? And they wonder why celebrities move out and away from their communities...I'm sorry if like it that my crosswalk signal counts down to tell me when to go! LOL!! Focus! We did end up seeing some family (don't tell nobody) and made our rounds enough to warrant our check! We said our good-byes and headed for the limo...As soon as we got in, we did damage control...We saw the paparazzi in the corner (they always catch us) getting pics of us in a somewhat compromising predicament. We outsmarted they asses tho'! Bastards...I feel like, "Leave me alone" but, it's part of the job! Anyhoo, we made an immediate phone call to our management & told him that we would not be making anymore appearances such as this, or we would definitely be firing our agent...Our manager, told us that he would see what he could do about it. We told him clearly & concisely, NO! YOU NEED TO DO THIS!!! I don't know exactly what happened but, unfortunately, it didn't go well with the agent. This muthaphucka had the au-dac-i-ty to tell us that he was "firing us for going to that engagement!" Muthaphucka! Nooooooo u didn't! No u didn't! We were booked this gig directly through our agent & he talkin' bout he gon' fire us for taking the job!!!!!!!! GTFOH! Not to mention, my RIDER (contract listing my specifications & demands) says that I have to have Coke, Bottled water, Snicker, Chocolate Bar, Waffles & Bacon & Hot Popeyes chicken! So, if i tell you we had to go to Bud's Burgers afterwards, there was only ribs & chicken...Yuck! I'm sure everyone there had a great time however people...Don't have celebrities @ your function if you're not going to adhere to the contractual agreement. As of now, our position with our agent is still pending..I hope it doesn't have to go to litigation but, we shall c...Now, if you really know me then, you're like WOW but, if you really, really know me then u know I got issues because you know that this is REALLY actually what plays in my head...is that music? O, umm I don't know but, I'm just trying share with yal how i be feelin in these situations & I know, I know...I need a check...Imma be working on that tomorrow! LOL!! Have a great day & Book us for your next function! LOL!!

Hell Date!!

Aiight, so yal know I have a grown daughter which, happens to be the one that gives us the most trouble..Well, the bookends do, her and the baby girl..Now yesterday all the kids left the house, except the baby girl.  She is a lot to handle and she makes me nervous cuz i have anxiety and she don't have no friends, well I don't let her run around the neighborhood like she would like to. The older girls went to visit a friend, the little boy went down the street to play with his friends while they all left me home alone with the baby girl.  I was exhausted so, I didn't feel like taking her to the park, not to mention I was actually working (i work!).  I convinced her to lay down next to me and she fell asleep....YaaaaaaY!  Now, the oldest girl told me earlier that day that she had a date. This guy was a bit older but, I was like, ok...Now-apparently, the middle girl wanted to go with the oldest girl to her father's house to visit their other little brother.  Could you follow that?  LOL!! So, they get their stuff together and they leave.  We eat dinner and the little kids take their showers and go to bed.  It's after 9:30, I know this because it's when the little kids go to bed and the phone rings.  I don't answer the phone around here cuz ain't nobody callin for me and by the way, I need a concierge, a chef and a tutor cuz these kids are just too much responsibility for one person.  It's the oldest daughter?  "Mom! How do you get out of a date?!"  I start crackin' up!  "No Mom for real, help me!!" Initially I tell her, "Tell him you out!"  Plain and simple.  This doesn't work for her because my kids aren't as 'rude' as I am or, that's how they put it.  I'm not rude or mean, I just speak my mind whether you like it or not.  I'm definitely not going to sugar coat if for a dude that I don't care about nor like!?!?  So, I know they don't have the where-with-all to handle these situations in an assertive, mature manner as I would so, I play along...."Okay, okay Tosh...this is what you do.  Tell him, ummm ummm... say, say Oh Oh, say that your Daddy is @ work and your mother starts class tonight and you forgot you had to watch your little bro & sis!?  Yeah Yeah!"  "Okay Mom..Yeayau thanks...but, i don't want to fake on him all like that and burn my bridges cuz I don't want it to be all obvious when I never talk to him again..LOLOL!! I ain't feelin' him like that, you know?"  Yes Puddah, i know...If you was feelin' him, you'd feel it!" "Yes, right Mom!" It is then that I glance over to the clock and I'm like, oh shoot! "Puddah, it's kinda late for me to be going to a class, oops!"  "Oh yeayau, hunh!?"  This is when Daddy-quiet-face rolls over to put his two cents in-"Man, just tell him you gotta take your Mama back her car!" I repeat it to Puddah and we're both like, right Dad! Why couldn't we think of that!  Good job YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!  He says, "Well yal white girls actin' like yal game goofy!"  I laugh at him and give him a shove cuz we're NOT white!  After he solves our dilemma, he turns over and under his breath he says, "She ain't supposed to be using the car except to go to work. That's the last thing I was told.  O, but yeah, I forgot, white people are more lenient on their kids!" Whatever! So, then I ask Tosh, well, where are yal at now? She was like, well we just ate, and now we're about to go in the movies...So, I'm like (High 5) Do what you gotta do...At least she got dinner & a movie out of it!!  Make Mama proud!  LOL!!  Sheeeeeeeeeeeit! She doesn't know how many more Hell Dates she has to go!  It's only the beginning!  I'm married & don' had 5 children & all i can get is McDonald's & a Bootleg! LOLOL!!!  Man, what I wouldn't do for a Hell Date!

Secuuuuuuuuuuuuurity!

Okay...We boarded our plane in Providence, RI and we had all our snacks, goodies, reading materials and neck pillow because this would be a 10-hour flight!  Hey what can I say? $240 roundtrip...you get what you pay for!!! Now, the flight went from Providence to Chicago, then to Phoenix, then to Ontario, then to Sacramento.  We stayed on the same plane for the whole trip which was the only advantage...Once again we were running a little behind so although we all got to sit together, we were on the back of the plane.  When we made it to Chicago-Midway, we moved our seats to the front.  The flight attendants from Providence-Chicago-Phoenix were very nice and put up with our loud and sometimes obnoxious behavior. We weren't offending anyone just laughing and having a good ol' time. At every stop there was a new crew that would board the plane and they immediately noticed us because we were having a good time!  Once we got to Ontario, that's when it hit the fan!  There's this flight attendant and he's making his rounds up & down the aisle and he comes to us and he says, "I'm going to need you to raise you seat up for take off."  I say, "Not me, that's her." referring to Waseme.  Nicky says, "I tooold her!" The flight attendant then says, "You all are going to have to knock it off!"  WTH?! He continues, "You would think in this day and age you wouldn't joke around like that!?" Whaaaaaaat?!? So, while Nicky is still playing with this man, Waseme advises Nicky that he is not playing!  Whaaaaaaaaaat??  This dude acts like we sayin' bomb-bomb-bomb-ba-bomb-bomb-bomb! Or, let me call Al Qaida and see what Osama Bin Laden is doing!?!?  GTHOH!!!  So, now I'm pissed!  He then goes on to say, "You guys are disrupting other passengers and I have no problem having the authorities meet us at Ontario to escort you off the aircraft!"  Whaaaaaaaaaat!?? People!! Why does the officer of the law always follow me? I don't start nothin' wit' nobody!  I am already on parole (LOL) and I cain't afford this negative press.  The paparazzi will be all over this (LOL)!!!! So, we let him leave with his panties in a bunch and we began to let him have it!  We were so offended, embarrassed and we felt like we were racially profiled.  Now, these 2 other younger ladies were looking with their mouths wide open.  They could not believe what the flight attendant had just done!  She made comments that he's just miserable and not to worry about it.  We were offended and embarrassed because of the obvious confrontation however, we felt racially profiled because there was a white male a few rows behind us and he was just as loud as we were. So, we began collecting our thoughts and developing a plan of action.  The outrageous part was that we were like, he doesn't even know who he's talking to. Doesn't he know I'm a friggin' celebrity?!  LOL!!! I'm thinkin' we have a Pharmacist, a Registered Nurse, and a Journalist.  I began spewing about how I was going to write a column about the treatment we received from this airline as well as, him individually.  We never quieted down because we didn't care what he said, have the authorities meet us there!  We been on this plane 8 hours by now so, what's the worst that could happen!?  All the while, Kangol Kid (this older lady who was wearing a Kangol hat) was sitting in the row in front of us.  Don't you hate when you know someone is a sneaky li'l tattle-tell!? So as she was listening to our every word, we didn't care because we were speaking the truth.  We continued on to Ontario and the crew never got out of their seats.  They didn't even offer the passengers a cup of water..Wow!!!!!  Are we that intimidating?!  Nonetheless, we arrived in Ontario, and as the passengers were disembarking, we noticed that Kangol Kid gave her contact information to the flight attendant that insulted us.  We didn't care!!! Good! Give him you information so you can implicate yourself in his web of lies. There never were any authorities coming to escort off the plane because what was he going to say to them?  "Please come get these women off the plane because they are laughing!??!" Yeah, right!  We finally arrived in Sacramento and that was the last leg of our trip!

After Boston, I'm Going! Going! Back 2 Back 2 Cali! Cali!

After the graduation on Sunday....We all get back to the house...Eat some food, drink talk smack & wind down...My Mommy was very tired & we watched the uneventful Lakers vs. Houston blowout then decided on what our next step would be.  So, we decided on driving to Boston to watch this pivotal game 7! Mommy was not happy about this but, we had to go! We a spit away from Boston & it's game 7 against our rivals!  We goin'!  So, Boston from Providence is like Vallejo to Oakland so, no biggie...We select this random sports bar...and we out!  Nicky's wonderful GPS idiot, Ms. Gormin helped us get there! On our journey I find out that my brother drives just as crazy as I, and i vowed not to ever drive to scare my passengers like that anymore, YEAH RIGHT!!! Anyway, he's bobbin' & weavin' & I'm duckin' for cover!  It's friggin' nuts yal!  He drives so fast that he swings past Harvard Business School...We like, Scottie! Make the block we gotta get out & take a picture...I wanna go to Harvard, yea right! LOL! Anyhoo we swing back around & I notice that Scottie has a li'l anxiety like me..He's tellin' us to hurrup & I'm the friggin' photographer so, of course I got jacked on the shots!  Anyhooo we get finish up & I realize why Scottie was hurried...We were on the side of Fenway Park & apparently a game had just let out...So, he's like C'mon..C'mon...So, as we're trying to make our way up da skreet there's this lady in the crosswalk..but, Scottie is trying to hurry & get outta there before there's too much traffic! So, this lady is sashaying in the crosswalk & Scottie is like, on her bumper...She yells in her heavy Boston accent "We're in the crosswalk!?"  He says, "Yeayau, no duh? Have a nice day, beep!" We were like, Scottie!!!  Hahahahhaa! We had to laugh! I guess we really are brother & sister!  So, finally we find the little Irish Pub & of course we're a li'l apprehensive about walking inside because we're in Harvard country, a college community!  Anyway, we walk in and it's hella bright!!!  Bright means all white! So, we ain't trippin'...the President is black...LOL!! We are greeted by a host & seated immediately...This place has a hunnnet TV's with the game on everyone! We go to the restroom to relieve ourselves to get comfortable..So, while we're there the locals kinda look at us with acceptance, that made us feel better..We took a look @ the menu & ordered...I got a BLT, more about that in a minute...So, we're taking pics cuz we want proof that we were in Boston on Game 7...We see this girl seated @ the bar and she has on a bright green Celtics Tee...I (the only person wit big cajones), ask her if she wouldn't mind taking a picture with us...She was a li'l apprehensive, but figured oh well why not!?  We had one of her guy friends take our picture & we were happy!  Once our food came..Picky ol' me showed up! My BLT had more 'T' than 'B' now if you know me then you know that I absolutely love Bacon!!!  I said something to our server, Janice about it and she was like would you like more bacon?! Now, i on't wanna piss off the people that's making my food until i already have my food so, I politely declined the offer for more Bacon...I ain't want them to bring me no Swine Flu!  Now, a li'l while later Janice brings me over a plate of bacon!!!  You can imagine how happy i was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  See!? We began to chit chat with our server, Janice & guess what!?!? This chic is from CA and she moved to Boston, MA for love! Aaaaaaaaaaaw! We were soooo excited & so was she!  She said she was sooo happy to see us cuz people on the East Coast are really 'mean' according to her...As far as the East Coast in me, I'd prefer to say I am 'brutally honest,' so?!?! So it was a fun-filled evening & Boston was losing...YaaaaaaaY!!  Mission accomplished and we had to get outta there cuz i wasn't obvious about not being a Boston Celtics fan! LOL!!!  The ride back to Providence was interesting...So, Waseme had to pee but she didn't want to have Scottie get off da freeway cuz he was road ragin'! She tried her hardest to hold it & Scottie kept asking her did she wanna pee & she kept saying No! Finally, when her bladder was about to bust wide open, she asked him to get off so she could go to a bathrom...We did..Now, getting to the club where my Mother was @ was another obstacle.  Unfortunately, my mother does have an East Coast accent so, she's telling us to take the "Service Ave." exit..We drivin' up & down I-95 & she's tellin' us we're driving too fast and we must be passing it!  So, she's cussin' us up & down & now she's getting on my nerves & I'm about to start cussin' her out!  So, Chet Whitey, Nicky get's on the phone..."Hi Auntie Teri, okay we're on the freeway & I swear we don't see the exit!?!?"  She tells Nicky, "It is!!  She begins spelling...T-H-U-R-B-E-R-S!!!!" Nicky sighs in relief & tells her that we are on our way!  She gets off the phone crackin' da futch up! She makes sure she hung up on Mommy & tells us the real name of the exit..Well, sheeeeeeit! Don't have that accent then!  We hollered!  She was saying Thurbers Ave. exit while, all the time we were hearing Service Ave. exit! Oooooooooooops! Our bad!!!  We get there, boogy on down & Scottie policed my Mommy all night!  It was a fun ol' time...But, she had been drinking & I told yal she's a light weight...We get back to the house & Mommy starts cookin' steak & stuff..and we like, go to bed...Me & the girls were getting our last minute packing on & this was the funniest stuff of the day....My mom had been fighting with me, Waseme & Scottie while Nicky was on the phone so, she's walking back & forth making her steak & arguing with us & that's when it happened..."Nicky, are you all packed?" my Mom asked. Nicky replies, "Yes, Auntie Teri." "Then get the hell out!" my Mommy yelled. Nicky face drained of blood! I'm sure she was appauled but, it was still funny none-the-less!  And that was the end of our night & we headed on back to Cali!  YaaaaaaaaY!

Are there Black people in Rhode Island?!?!

So..as the girls & i scurry to get our last minute stuff from NYC... I get a call from Mommy..."Oh, Boop, Scottie (my bro) bought me a jade bangle & dial (the disc charm around ya neck)!  Oh, Boop! It's sooo pretty!" Now, first, my mother has always had and always loved jade...So, then she says, "And Boop this was purchased in China!"  WTH!?!  This worldly, artistic, every instrument-in-the band playing, fluent in Japanese, Shakesperian, College educated brother of mines don' out did me!  So I say, "Oh good Mom..That is sooo nice!"  As soon as i get off the phone wit her I tell Waseme & Nicky what Mommy just told me...Initially, I wasn't really gettin' nothin' cuz, they ain't have nothin' NEW..I start rantin' & ravin' about how Scottie don' trumped me and how in the heyell am i gonna top that!  All i brought my mom thus far was a bottle of Lolita perfume from Ross & a $20 bottle of Vera Wang Princess that i bought in NYC from a street vendor...Hmmph!  They ain't have nothin' and the reality is...it was my plight to come home wit' $$$ so, i really wasn't tryin' to spend any...LOL!!!  When we arrive back in Providence and we're laughin' and kickin' it wit the family & the surprise of my grandmother...It is then that I notice that somebody don' let my mommy drink...This lady can NOT & does NOT drink..but, hell, she's graduating...let her be..until-she starts messin' wit me!  Now, yal know i have ocd, adhd & a whole bunch of other stuff i don't care to mention...So, Nicky & Waseme told my mommy about how i was stressin' in NY about trumpin' dis fool...She then starts whinning to me about how she didn't raise us like that...and blah blah blah...I'm tryin' to tell her it's friendly competition...He's a mama's boy...& I'm a daddy's girl..who cares!? I'm only kidding!  He on the other hand, goes months @ a time missin' & he about to move to Japan...Now, yal tell me who looks good in the eyes of the parents :) Anyhoo...she trippin' and we're like, no more alcohol for her...and finally we get her settled down and we're all sittin' in the living room..I had already given her the Lolita so, all that drama reminded me of the Princess so, i went in the room grabbed it outta the bag then, brought it to her as this very prestigous gift...I got the attention of my family & as I handed it to her, I said, "Now, Mommy, this ain't from China but, it was made in China!"  LOLOLOL!!!  We all started crackin' up & this lady started to cry....WTH!?!  Mom's is sensitive yal..I got my Daddy's thick skin...Sorry...Once again, we had to tell her that it was just a joke..Daaaaaaang!  Scottie is the Einstein mofo while, I got jokes...I ain't tryna steal his spotlight...well, let me stop lyin' I steals all the spotlight, he's good @ chillin' in the background...LOL!!! The graduation on Sunday was a happy day but, it was friggin' rainin'..This is $400 hair..I cain't get it wet so, I went under the tent & sat in the chairs for the graduates...This Nosey lady decides to step in on this...She says, "Oh, u don't plan on staying there do you?" I said, "Yup!" She says, "Oh, well those seats are for the graduates!?"  I said, "Well then, I'm graduatin' today!" She was sooo HOT!!! I didn't tell her what I really thought of her so, why she gotta be all up in mines...Shoooooot! So, then sis (Waseme) comes to the side of the tent on my row & is trying to hand me something....Here she goes again...(to Waseme)"Ummmm this is for the graduates!" Don't mess wit my family!!!  I told her, "Look! That's my sister, I got this!"  She says, "Oh, you think so, huh!?" Thank you Lord Jesuuuuuuuus for having Scottie there with me!  I scowled at her and said, "I know I do!"  Scottie was like, Okay Boop c'mon c'mon let's go....I was about to give this lady the tomahawk slice, the people's elbow new & improved, slap her into a tuna melt, then cut her knees off with the elastic in the waist of her jeans! I had to goooooo! She's messin' up a nice day for me!  It's all good..She wudn't gon' steal my thunder! Mommy graduated with Honors & we were all cold & wet yet, happy!!  We heard the story of my mom's best friend who kicked her husband out...she said that he tried to come back & when he put his key in the door it bounced back!!!  We died laughin' yal...The rest of the evening we listened to a lot of funny stories..You'd have to have been there to enjoy it but, it was hi-lar-i-ous!!!

New York! New York! Big City of Dreams...

Although our plane arrived in Providence on Thurs, we spent the night, got up went to Marshall's in town & then headed out for the 3-4 hour drive to NYC! Initially when we got to Providence Enterprise we wanted a Charger..Didn't have one...We settled or, Nicky settled on the Convertible Volvo however, by the looks of the weather it looked like it would be for naught. So, Friday we head down to NYC, we are ridin' singin' & havin' fun..The girls made a PisStop & I tried to get the top down..No luck! Nicky comes out, figures it out & we rollin'...I had my dress that I would wear out tonight..I found a cute clutch @ the Marshall's in Providence & I know I can find my shoes @ the Macy's on 34th! We check (Hilton Garden Inn), wonderful staff, we wash up & head out...Our 1st encounter was successful..we got to Macy's, we're looking for a shoe..If you've never been there...Macy's covers a whole block..and not ur residential block...a city block..And, the shoe department covers one flr...so, we lookin'- Nicky sees a girl wit a bad ass shoe on that she knows will go perfect wit my dress...The chic has it on...she's looking at it..Nicky says, "Um!? Are you gettin' that shoe?" The girl is a bit puzzled but, she basically bullies this girl into givin' up that shoe!  Next thing i know she callin' me (metro works in many places) and is like, I got ur shoe right here!  I don't know if this is going to be a good thing...I see the shoe & it's perfect! Greaaaaaaaat! We dump our stuff to the Hotel & take the #2 train to Harlem..I take sis down 125th & she goes to the Apollo theatre & blah blah blah blah...My focus has been and was, that Marshall's on the co'na of 125th & Martin Lutha da Keeeeng! Great...time... we get there!  It's kewl..Find a hot shoe to wear @ the white party & it's too big..I need an 8 1/2..Ironically, I was getting it in silver, my mom got it in bronze earlier that day & Nicky bought it in gold...WTH!?!  I need an 8...No 8! Oh well...look for Sinful...they had like, no Juicy T-shirts & no Sinful T-shirts..They only had like, 1 t-shirt & 1 tank top, I guess it's cuz it's East Coast...I find Sinful here in California when I ain't even lookin'!  Uuugh! Marshall's was a total bust & Sylvia's was Sylvia's! It's just some reg' ol soul food..Nothin' big..We eat...On the way home however, this man was dressed in all newspaper & garbage bags, I guess he was 'green' yal...He was trying to give Waseme a dollar and we know better than to talk to strangers so, we tryin' to ignore him & stay away...Unfortunately, this fool is zeroin' in on Waseme...she does her best to ignore him but, he still throws the dollar on her folded arms and she slung it off of herself and felt dirty...For the rest of our trip, she claimed to be suffering from Hepatitis C, Tuberculosis LOL!!! This dude was nasty!  We tryin' to get home & it's damn near already 1oish cuz we tryin' to leave by 12...good luck! So, we get home, lay down and hurry & get ready...We decided on 40/40..I've had a good time there so, we should be good...Finally after we get there @ 1am..I love New York!!  And we red carpeted..No cover as usual in da city...well, especially there! We grab a drink, get settled & start kickin' it...We gettin' it in yal...It's the business..We ownin' it...As we always do...LOL... and party it up..Get home & nite nite...Anyway, the next morning we had to get up go down to Canal & do that souvenir shoppin'! I was hoping to get me a pair of yellow gold Chanel earrings but, it didn't happen...Anyhoo-we up & at 'em...It's a beast..We went thru all the walls & doors and basements & alleys, and i came up empty handed! Suuuuuucks!  Well, i got some Ed Hardy stuff for me, my God son, my son, Ebony & i got Leilani some 'juicy couture' earrings that she'll lose by summer!  So, all in all we had a SUPER, DUPER HELLUVA time...We go back to the hotel, retrieve our bags...Head back up the road to Providence...Now, on the way there yal, Waseme & Nicky drove & it took us 4 hours...Ha...I practically drove us all the way home, and it took us only 3 hours...Lead foot..The highway patrol don't ever be on the highway...Big mistake! Huge! So, we arrive @ my Mommy's house & as we're coming upstairs (she lives in a multi-family home which if u don't know what that means, she lives on the 3rd flr of a house that is 3 levels of 2 bedroom apartments....Yes! A kitchen & bathroom on every flr...That amazed me & my brother when we were little & visited for the summer) Anyhoo..Waseme is ahead of me and i hear her say "Hi MumMum!"  Now, that's the name of my Grandmother (my Dad's mom) but, it's also what they call my mom now that i have kids...but, the tone of her voice told me otherwise... I thought, is my Grandmother here!!  Sure enough...She was! I jumped up & down & got all excited!!! My mom said my brother was in the room sleep & told Nicky to go wake him up...After hugging my grandmother I turn around & Scottie was standing in the door way!  Hang tight & I'll drop Providence on you next!

Head Game

As many of you may or may not know..I am a stylist, consultant & a life coach..Seeeeee, yal think I jus be around here shoppin' all the time but, I do this for a living.  So, I had my life coach hat on today, I began thinking about my walk thru life at this point and I have concluded that I am a head job! So, anyway, I was explaining to one of my 'clients' why we feel sooooo good in the summer.  No, it's not cuz we don't have rain.  It's not cuz we have longer days, and it's not because you get to wear them skimpy skirts wit a fresh pedicure either! it's because of the Sun. The sun allows the pituitary & the hypothalamus gland to produce a compound called Endorphin!  Now, you're prolly trying to figure out how a 'don't do nothin' stay @ home mama, shop-a-holic, fool has the qualifications to give you this information but it's rather simple.  I did a 5-10 bid in da cookoo hospital, so I know this therapy like the back of my hand. So, I'm speaking to my client & she's somewhat promiscuous...(No worries, no patient confidentiality breach here)Whatever..that's neither here nor there..Anyway, back on task..ADHD takin' over, tryin' to get in on this...Focus!  Now, she's an older woman prolly in her mid 40's and she jus comin' out of a lengthy marriage.  I'm trying to explain to her that at this time in her life, she needs to find her center & jus 'do her!'  Well, folks... easier said than done.. I realize that she is used to having someone around and that being single can be lonely but, it makes no sense to run into the arms of the undeserving one, right!?  So, I'm explainin' to her that she really needs to be careful at this crucial time in her life.  Not because she's vulnerable, not cuz she's lost, not cuz she's healing.  It's cuz it's Summer!  See, you thought you were having fun in the summer because of other reasons when you're having fun in the summer because the sun is always out! You cain't get away from it!  And you want it more and more, that's why we dread when daylight savings times ends! If you notice, you're more likely to be all you can be during those summer months and not just because it's nice out, but because the sun just keeps callin' u! Haven't you ever noticed how many people come outta the wood work in the summer & in the winter months you don't know if these peoplee even still exist?  Men & Women are more likely to cheat during summer months. People are more nice during the summer.  People tend to do more things in the summer & not just because the kids are out of school.  When ur girlfriend calls u at the last minute to have a girls night out, you're more eager to go because of those damn endorphins!  I'm tryin' to tell ya, you are listening to a bon-a-fide, certified head case & i tell no lies....And, rumors are just truths waiting to be told.  I ain't one to gossip so, don't tell 'em u heard it from me!! LOL!!!  I just thought I'd drop dime one time, and hip you to this head game!

White Trash

Okay, all my life my 'peers' have called me white!  I am speaking of my African-American friends.  I knew that having parents from the East Coast & being raised with some of those traditions were different as I got older & they kept calling me white.  It made me investigate why they said i was "white?"  I realized it was because we were from different parts of the world but, not really?!  My parents were around during Civil Rights, they knew much more than me & my peers what it was like to be a slave!?  I just didn't get it! Derrick says I'm white because my brother's name is Scott & I'm from Woodbury. Waseme calls me a 'white girl' because I call it a slotted spoon & a lectern instead of 'the spoon wit the holes in it' or the podium!? I think Bennie calls me white because we were raised very different, I was allowed to cuss around my parents while he would get the 'Vietnam' treatment (when you are punished by kneeling down into uncooked rice on the kitchen floor & putting your hands on top of your head) for thinking about it!! LOL!!!  Huhn!? Let me explain something before i make my point. I am an inquisitive person just as i was as a little girl, now, whenever I would ask my father what a particular word meant, he'd say, "Look it up Boop!" or, "Go get the dictionary!"  I learned at a young age how to USE MY RESOURCES!  I quit asking him for definitions quickly in order not to be yelled at for doing so. Now, #2 I naturally have a VERY GOOD, PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY. So, at my young age, the dictionary became my favorite book!  I know, it sucks right!?!  Hey, what did you do as a kid!? Anyway!?!?  So, the people who I went to school with I'm sure will tell you I was smart but, those closest to me, may tell you I'm a white girl!  Now, as I got older and began working, my 'peers' those African-Americans again, labeled me as ghetto! Now, that didn't bother me at all either because no one can ever define who I am but, I am who I am & I make no apologies.  I believe they called me this because I am loud, obnoxious(actually I'll refer to it as curt), HORRIBLY BRUTALLY HONEST & I am going to do whatever I want!  I don't care if you don't like it!  Ask my co-workers about that time I wore a prom skirt to work..I did it cuz I thought it was HOOOOOOT!  Not cuz i gave a hell what they thought of it but, because I wanted to!  I got some pretty THICK skin so, it takes a lot to offend me!  Anyhoooo!!!  At this point, I'm confused!  They say I'm white, They say I'm ghetto! Which is it? So, that's when I realized I must be "White Trash!!!" I mean, aren't the 'ghetto' white people referred to as, White Trash!??  Maybe I'm wrong but, I'm wearing it like a badge cuz as i said before, I really don't care what anyone thinks..When I'm ridin' around in Bennie's 'rice rocket' bumpin' my music, I don't turn it down cuz i'm slamming rap music that may be offensive to others, but because I know that PEOPLE will always have a preconceived notion about me ANYWAY so, I PUSH!  So, today, I happened to be making pork chops & applesauce and Derrick, Waseme & Bennie always make fun of that but, that's what we ate wit ours so, i asked my facebook family what did they think?!?!  Amazingly, almost ALL the Black people said, "ghetto pass revoked, gravy or nothing!" And almost ALL the white people said "hell yeah!"  As I read each response I'm laughing out loud cuz i know some of you had to be like what difference does it make!?  So, thank u facebook family for assisting me with my blind study.  Now, at the end of the day, Bennie, Waseme & Derrick are gonna keep calling me 'white,' or 'whitegirl' and my peers are gonna continue to say I'm 'ghetto' while, Imma use my own term which is 'White Trash!'

Camping Karma

I'm soooooooooo looking forward to camping this year!  We have a ball! We've been going camping for about 6 years or so now to Collins lake (collinslake.com)..My family, my sis's family & my cousin's family.  My parents didn't take us camping as kids so I'm excited cuz this is like a cool tradition i can give my kids...This place is in Oregon House, just outside Marysville, has no signal & no civilization around this lake well, not really? It has an amazing lake, amazing views & is jus peaceful!  They serve the best homemade ice cream ever!  Now, since we're like experts now, we got dis stuff down!  Fri: we arrive around 3pm, put up our tents, set up our kitchens, and get to work!  We have a fish fry, oysters on the grill, and clams for me!  We jus have a grand ole time...On Saturday: Eesh usually arrives in da am (and she literally sleeps in da bed wit me & Bennie...LOL) we have breakfast (pancakes, bacon, fried potatoes, sausage) u name it, we eatin' it!  After breakfast, the boys go fishin' and us girls head out to take our hike! This hike has breathtaking views and goes around the side of the lake which, we never see the boys but, it's a nice time away, it's about a 2mi hike.  Then, we head back to camp, where the kids either have taco salad or tuna sammiches and we, well I, (Waseme act like she wanna play games and stuff) take a nap & the kids go down to the beach or playground.  Then, the boys come in from fishin wit that 1 sardine they caught and we start bbq'in.  The bbq has it all too...Hamburgers, Hot Dogs, Baby Backs, Potato Salad, White Corn on the Cob (I must emphasize the white cuz i hate yellow corn) and whatever else....Then-after dinner we usually all head down to the Lake store to take our 1 AND ONLY shower and get a scoop of that good ice cream & go back to camp and the kids make smores & drink & we talk smack and we tend to be a little loud! We tell scary stories, play cards, dominoes and get it in! NOW---There were 2 times when we tried to maximize our camping trip by going on Memorial Day weekend as most people do!  However, unfortunately, both times it rained...The 1st time we stuck wit it and pulled thru and the weather turned around. However, last year was what we adamantly refer to as, "THE CAMPING TRIP FROM HELL!" 1st, Waseme & Tootie weren't going to be there cuz they went to Tootie's b-ball tourney in Reno. Next, Nicky nor Eesh wud be coming either! We pressed on..We get there on Friday and the weather was a bit gloomy! So, that night it was cold but, we had our fish fry!  We put on more clothes and pushed thru.  After eating & some drinks we took it on in...That night in the tent, YES I SAID TENT, it poured!!!  I jus kept sayin' this is the camping trip from hell!  We awoke the next morning by the growling sounds of Derrick's snoring and we got up & Ebony & i cooked our breakfast and we ate..This time, we were gonna all go out on our boat and ride around the lake wit them and then go hiking!  We pull the boat down there.. everyone has on their life jackets and we in...Bennie & Derrick guide the boat down the boat launch and we get on the pier and hop in...So, Bennie starts the engine and we're ready!  Ebony brought the cd & we forgot to put it in..The cd player was in the glove box...the glove box was locked..Bennie took the key outta the ignition, unlocked the glove box and put in the cd...NOW-Here is the beginning of the end people!  He could not get the boat to re-start! I'm sitting there like a mummy in dis cute ass pink life vest that's collapsin' my lungs while da kids are getting restless cuz we ready to roll!!! Bennie & Derrick keep pullin' on it like a lawnmower & it acts like it's gonna start but, never does...By this time, i am seated right next to the engine & i guess the fumes got into my system becuz then i began laughing hysterically about what was happening with this whole camping fiasco..It was too hilarious!  I had to just laugh about it and i thought I musta been high!  After the last, and final attempt that's when We ALL decided it was time to go!  We cudn't take it! It was raining, cold & we couldn't get on da boat!?!  Outta here! It's appx 11am..Oh but it gets better...We pull out & we are so ready to get home!  As we are just about to hit Hwy 99-80 Derrick calls...He says, Hey, the trailer (that's pulling the boat) has a flat tire.  Huhn!?!?  WTF?  This cain't be happening?! We pull over, assess the damage... We then call our insurance company and they send us around & around & around & finally they find someone that can help us...We tell Derrick he doesn't have to stay wit us anymore cuz they had a tow coming to change the tire...Unfortunately the tow guy cudn't help us cuz it's a itty bitty trailer tire..Then, they put us in touch wit the mobile tire repair guy. He picks Bennie up & they drive like to the South side of Sacramento and my anxiety kickin' in..Dem kids is gettin' on my nerves..they eatin' up da campin' food..i'm jus tryin' to listen to my ipod...Then after about 2 hours stranded on da side of the road.. Here come a Hwy Patrol..Yall aiight!? Yep. We waitin' on a tire..Oooooo ok, Deuces!  It had been some time and i began to think that these people had kidnapped my husband & that he don' left me wit these kids....So, another hour or so passes & here they come!!!  Halelujah!!!  The man changes the tire, we thank him and hit the road!  At this point we really want to get home..It is now 4pm folks!  So, Bennie's strikin' We get on 80, make it down the causeway & Riorn Riorn Riorn..Red Lights, Blue Lights...GTHOH!!!!  We gettin' pulled over!  I'm grabbin' for gum cuz when were 1st stranded on Hwy 70 I had drank a Smirnoff Ice and never got rid of the bottle & altho that was like 4 hours ago and I wasn't driving I didn't want no 'probable cause' mess!! BUT- u never know! I'm scramblin' around askin' da kids to hide my bottle and Ebony da ANX-I-E-TY girl is like, OMG! OMG!  I can smell it!  Of course u can smell it doofus...U da one got it damn near in ur lap!!  The officer pulls us over & I'm jus in actin' mode already which, I really didn't have to act cuz it was a traumatic day for us.  While I'm actin' like Dorothy Dandridge he's not even paying any attention to me...He's strictly talking to Bennie about why he stopped us & painfully ignoring me.  He says we were driving in the wrong lane cuz we were towing the boat.. Duh fool! We know that....We wanna get HOOOOOOME!  He lets us go wit a warning & i'm like, whew!  We get back home and finish our Saturday there which was bbq and we'll never go camping on Memorial Day Weekend again!

My philosophy

What it do folks!?!?  So, today there is no one underlying message...First & foremost, I give God the glory for blessing me, for constantly working in me...Amen!  U know how you've been a good friend to someone all along and then u make a mistake and they cancel you!?"  Well, I am actually that same kind of person.  I will holla deuces on you in a minute! It's nothin'! However, i had a debacle earlier this week with someone i'm very close to.  I am a very trust worthy person & people always tell me their deepest darkest secrets cuz i will zip it!  Unfortunately, this person felt like they couldn't trust me because I told my HUSBAND something and he reacted!  I however, believe this to be an honest mistake. Here's what I told my daughter about it..."Tosh, if you have something ur dying to tell ur girlfriend about but, u don't want her husband/boyfriend to know-Don't tell that friend cuz she's ALMOST ALWAYS gonna tell her man!"  Of course there are exceptions to the rule, such as, "Ok girl, I wanna tell u this but, u canNOT tell (insert his name here)!!"  In this case, she shudn't tell him BUT if she does, that's ur fault and not hers because, once you let something fall outta ur mouf & into the universe, you can't be mad that ANYone finds out...This is crucial because this is where people tend to "BLOW IT" So, all praise be to Allah for putting Nicky on da phone wit me to calm me down & talk me off da bridge..I was about to jump yal..I guess Jehovah is working on me.. I must be maturing..Nicky said "Boop, stop it!  You always go waaaaaaaay to that extreme wit people!" Oops, my bad, she's right! I will not talk to you ever again in life!  It's nothin'! Maybe that's something else I should be working on?? One of my great philosophies is, "if you don't add to my life then u don't belong in my life!"  Can the chuuuuch say, Amen!  So, this lesson also dealt with exposure...In my opinion, as has been proven, whatever you do in life, whatever is done in the dark...will ALWAYS eventually come out!  Now, I was once in a sitch where I knew some information that was detrimental to a very close loved one...I don't kiss & tell...And, as my good friend Dollie, enlightened me about was, "What is your objective?"  i.e. What do you intend to gain by telling this information to this person?  Good job, Bob! That is it exactly!  So, i used this example when i talked to my daughter about it..."Tosh, so u remember when i went to jail (what? u don't have a past?!?), right?" What can i say, I'm an open book! Well, i was guilty of the crime per se but, it was basically outrageous that I went into custody....LOL!!  That's my story & I'm stickin' to it!  I continue, "Well in my 20's I used to shoplift (and not the ooooh she got it booster kind, the here is a cup of pens @ this check out counter so, imma jus take one kind & also, i don't do that anymore!!) "Now because I NEVER EVER got caught for my petty, felonious behavior, I did however, pay for it in another way, at another time!?!?!"  Ya dig!? I keep this WIDE OPEN communication with my kids because I want to equip them with academic, emotional & street knowledge (altho i can be game goofy at times)!  I want her to be a highly regarded woman when she grows up as well...She doesn't always like my FRANK conversations with her but, she has learned to appreciate it and grin & bear it!  My point is, people will always & continue to let you down. Altho u think you can..Revere yourself in the Lord and He will never let you down! Just know that you canNOT have expectations of people (flesh).  Otherwise, you'll be disappointed e'ry time!  I'll holllllla!

Withdrawal...

So, the Lakers ain't played since Tues, Apr 14 & I won't be seeing them again until Sun, Apr 19!  That's a looooooong time! Oh well!?  So, it's Friday, eat out night..And, Daddy has a game (softball) & we don't typically go (cuz i ain't sittin' out in da cold complainin' wishin da game was over & i shudnta came) but, I was gonna go tonight...The game is @ 6:15!?  I don't know if yal know or not...I don't drive...Well, I drive myself around everyday but, i'd rather Bennie come home and pick us up and we all go together...However, he wouldn't be able to make it in time for his game, sooooooo...We're SOL...I mean, I might still take the kids and go...Or, maybe next time..LOL!!  But, the game is in Concord and i might be able to use my Wonder Twin powers to have him take us all to Benihana for dinner tonight.. I on't know...Filipino fact #9, don't waste money on fine dining wit the kids!  Our kids, unfortunately have been to Benihana many times so, what's the big deal, el cheapo!?? Anyhoo...I wanted to take them somewhere nice tomorrow like, SF to Golden Gate park and jus have a picnic & fly a kite, or to the Exploratorium, something...Outside of the regular stuff...The oldest girl is on vacation this weekend and her and the middle girl decided to go to Marine World tomorrow which leaves us wit the little ones..And thank God Ping doesn't have school tomorrow cuz me & her (Leilani) by myself?  I'd prolly shoot my brains out!! BUT-i remembered... The playoffs start on Sat...That's like 4 games....Buuuuuuullcorn! We ain't goin' nowhere! There are 4 games on tomorrow..Noooooope!  Sorry kids..you better walk up da skreet to da park cuz ummmmm....It's goin down 'round here!!!!!! Basketball all day and then 48 hour mystery tomorrow night! Maybe, just maybe I can get him to jus lay around and cupcake...I doubt it but, if i walk around wit my T-shirt & my panties on...It'll work!  Yeah.. That gets 'im e'rytime! YaaaaaaaaaaY! Futch!  What am i gonna do?  I should take the babybacks out and he can bbq...But, Imma still have to come up wit something good on Sunday..It's our Sunday...We were @ the Little's Easter Sunday...Daaaaaaangit!  I need some good suggestions.. Cuz altho it's gonna be nice, I don't wanna have bbq...What I's gonna do!?!? We shall c!  Sunday is still 2 days away...I'm in Kobe withdrawal.. I think I'll jus watch an old game I still have stored on the DVR...LOL!!!!