Camping Karma

I'm soooooooooo looking forward to camping this year!  We have a ball! We've been going camping for about 6 years or so now to Collins lake (collinslake.com)..My family, my sis's family & my cousin's family.  My parents didn't take us camping as kids so I'm excited cuz this is like a cool tradition i can give my kids...This place is in Oregon House, just outside Marysville, has no signal & no civilization around this lake well, not really? It has an amazing lake, amazing views & is jus peaceful!  They serve the best homemade ice cream ever!  Now, since we're like experts now, we got dis stuff down!  Fri: we arrive around 3pm, put up our tents, set up our kitchens, and get to work!  We have a fish fry, oysters on the grill, and clams for me!  We jus have a grand ole time...On Saturday: Eesh usually arrives in da am (and she literally sleeps in da bed wit me & Bennie...LOL) we have breakfast (pancakes, bacon, fried potatoes, sausage) u name it, we eatin' it!  After breakfast, the boys go fishin' and us girls head out to take our hike! This hike has breathtaking views and goes around the side of the lake which, we never see the boys but, it's a nice time away, it's about a 2mi hike.  Then, we head back to camp, where the kids either have taco salad or tuna sammiches and we, well I, (Waseme act like she wanna play games and stuff) take a nap & the kids go down to the beach or playground.  Then, the boys come in from fishin wit that 1 sardine they caught and we start bbq'in.  The bbq has it all too...Hamburgers, Hot Dogs, Baby Backs, Potato Salad, White Corn on the Cob (I must emphasize the white cuz i hate yellow corn) and whatever else....Then-after dinner we usually all head down to the Lake store to take our 1 AND ONLY shower and get a scoop of that good ice cream & go back to camp and the kids make smores & drink & we talk smack and we tend to be a little loud! We tell scary stories, play cards, dominoes and get it in! NOW---There were 2 times when we tried to maximize our camping trip by going on Memorial Day weekend as most people do!  However, unfortunately, both times it rained...The 1st time we stuck wit it and pulled thru and the weather turned around. However, last year was what we adamantly refer to as, "THE CAMPING TRIP FROM HELL!" 1st, Waseme & Tootie weren't going to be there cuz they went to Tootie's b-ball tourney in Reno. Next, Nicky nor Eesh wud be coming either! We pressed on..We get there on Friday and the weather was a bit gloomy! So, that night it was cold but, we had our fish fry!  We put on more clothes and pushed thru.  After eating & some drinks we took it on in...That night in the tent, YES I SAID TENT, it poured!!!  I jus kept sayin' this is the camping trip from hell!  We awoke the next morning by the growling sounds of Derrick's snoring and we got up & Ebony & i cooked our breakfast and we ate..This time, we were gonna all go out on our boat and ride around the lake wit them and then go hiking!  We pull the boat down there.. everyone has on their life jackets and we in...Bennie & Derrick guide the boat down the boat launch and we get on the pier and hop in...So, Bennie starts the engine and we're ready!  Ebony brought the cd & we forgot to put it in..The cd player was in the glove box...the glove box was locked..Bennie took the key outta the ignition, unlocked the glove box and put in the cd...NOW-Here is the beginning of the end people!  He could not get the boat to re-start! I'm sitting there like a mummy in dis cute ass pink life vest that's collapsin' my lungs while da kids are getting restless cuz we ready to roll!!! Bennie & Derrick keep pullin' on it like a lawnmower & it acts like it's gonna start but, never does...By this time, i am seated right next to the engine & i guess the fumes got into my system becuz then i began laughing hysterically about what was happening with this whole camping fiasco..It was too hilarious!  I had to just laugh about it and i thought I musta been high!  After the last, and final attempt that's when We ALL decided it was time to go!  We cudn't take it! It was raining, cold & we couldn't get on da boat!?!  Outta here! It's appx 11am..Oh but it gets better...We pull out & we are so ready to get home!  As we are just about to hit Hwy 99-80 Derrick calls...He says, Hey, the trailer (that's pulling the boat) has a flat tire.  Huhn!?!?  WTF?  This cain't be happening?! We pull over, assess the damage... We then call our insurance company and they send us around & around & around & finally they find someone that can help us...We tell Derrick he doesn't have to stay wit us anymore cuz they had a tow coming to change the tire...Unfortunately the tow guy cudn't help us cuz it's a itty bitty trailer tire..Then, they put us in touch wit the mobile tire repair guy. He picks Bennie up & they drive like to the South side of Sacramento and my anxiety kickin' in..Dem kids is gettin' on my nerves..they eatin' up da campin' food..i'm jus tryin' to listen to my ipod...Then after about 2 hours stranded on da side of the road.. Here come a Hwy Patrol..Yall aiight!? Yep. We waitin' on a tire..Oooooo ok, Deuces!  It had been some time and i began to think that these people had kidnapped my husband & that he don' left me wit these kids....So, another hour or so passes & here they come!!!  Halelujah!!!  The man changes the tire, we thank him and hit the road!  At this point we really want to get home..It is now 4pm folks!  So, Bennie's strikin' We get on 80, make it down the causeway & Riorn Riorn Riorn..Red Lights, Blue Lights...GTHOH!!!!  We gettin' pulled over!  I'm grabbin' for gum cuz when were 1st stranded on Hwy 70 I had drank a Smirnoff Ice and never got rid of the bottle & altho that was like 4 hours ago and I wasn't driving I didn't want no 'probable cause' mess!! BUT- u never know! I'm scramblin' around askin' da kids to hide my bottle and Ebony da ANX-I-E-TY girl is like, OMG! OMG!  I can smell it!  Of course u can smell it doofus...U da one got it damn near in ur lap!!  The officer pulls us over & I'm jus in actin' mode already which, I really didn't have to act cuz it was a traumatic day for us.  While I'm actin' like Dorothy Dandridge he's not even paying any attention to me...He's strictly talking to Bennie about why he stopped us & painfully ignoring me.  He says we were driving in the wrong lane cuz we were towing the boat.. Duh fool! We know that....We wanna get HOOOOOOME!  He lets us go wit a warning & i'm like, whew!  We get back home and finish our Saturday there which was bbq and we'll never go camping on Memorial Day Weekend again!