White Trash

Okay, all my life my 'peers' have called me white!  I am speaking of my African-American friends.  I knew that having parents from the East Coast & being raised with some of those traditions were different as I got older & they kept calling me white.  It made me investigate why they said i was "white?"  I realized it was because we were from different parts of the world but, not really?!  My parents were around during Civil Rights, they knew much more than me & my peers what it was like to be a slave!?  I just didn't get it! Derrick says I'm white because my brother's name is Scott & I'm from Woodbury. Waseme calls me a 'white girl' because I call it a slotted spoon & a lectern instead of 'the spoon wit the holes in it' or the podium!? I think Bennie calls me white because we were raised very different, I was allowed to cuss around my parents while he would get the 'Vietnam' treatment (when you are punished by kneeling down into uncooked rice on the kitchen floor & putting your hands on top of your head) for thinking about it!! LOL!!!  Huhn!? Let me explain something before i make my point. I am an inquisitive person just as i was as a little girl, now, whenever I would ask my father what a particular word meant, he'd say, "Look it up Boop!" or, "Go get the dictionary!"  I learned at a young age how to USE MY RESOURCES!  I quit asking him for definitions quickly in order not to be yelled at for doing so. Now, #2 I naturally have a VERY GOOD, PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY. So, at my young age, the dictionary became my favorite book!  I know, it sucks right!?!  Hey, what did you do as a kid!? Anyway!?!?  So, the people who I went to school with I'm sure will tell you I was smart but, those closest to me, may tell you I'm a white girl!  Now, as I got older and began working, my 'peers' those African-Americans again, labeled me as ghetto! Now, that didn't bother me at all either because no one can ever define who I am but, I am who I am & I make no apologies.  I believe they called me this because I am loud, obnoxious(actually I'll refer to it as curt), HORRIBLY BRUTALLY HONEST & I am going to do whatever I want!  I don't care if you don't like it!  Ask my co-workers about that time I wore a prom skirt to work..I did it cuz I thought it was HOOOOOOT!  Not cuz i gave a hell what they thought of it but, because I wanted to!  I got some pretty THICK skin so, it takes a lot to offend me!  Anyhoooo!!!  At this point, I'm confused!  They say I'm white, They say I'm ghetto! Which is it? So, that's when I realized I must be "White Trash!!!" I mean, aren't the 'ghetto' white people referred to as, White Trash!??  Maybe I'm wrong but, I'm wearing it like a badge cuz as i said before, I really don't care what anyone thinks..When I'm ridin' around in Bennie's 'rice rocket' bumpin' my music, I don't turn it down cuz i'm slamming rap music that may be offensive to others, but because I know that PEOPLE will always have a preconceived notion about me ANYWAY so, I PUSH!  So, today, I happened to be making pork chops & applesauce and Derrick, Waseme & Bennie always make fun of that but, that's what we ate wit ours so, i asked my facebook family what did they think?!?!  Amazingly, almost ALL the Black people said, "ghetto pass revoked, gravy or nothing!" And almost ALL the white people said "hell yeah!"  As I read each response I'm laughing out loud cuz i know some of you had to be like what difference does it make!?  So, thank u facebook family for assisting me with my blind study.  Now, at the end of the day, Bennie, Waseme & Derrick are gonna keep calling me 'white,' or 'whitegirl' and my peers are gonna continue to say I'm 'ghetto' while, Imma use my own term which is 'White Trash!'

Camping Karma

I'm soooooooooo looking forward to camping this year!  We have a ball! We've been going camping for about 6 years or so now to Collins lake (collinslake.com)..My family, my sis's family & my cousin's family.  My parents didn't take us camping as kids so I'm excited cuz this is like a cool tradition i can give my kids...This place is in Oregon House, just outside Marysville, has no signal & no civilization around this lake well, not really? It has an amazing lake, amazing views & is jus peaceful!  They serve the best homemade ice cream ever!  Now, since we're like experts now, we got dis stuff down!  Fri: we arrive around 3pm, put up our tents, set up our kitchens, and get to work!  We have a fish fry, oysters on the grill, and clams for me!  We jus have a grand ole time...On Saturday: Eesh usually arrives in da am (and she literally sleeps in da bed wit me & Bennie...LOL) we have breakfast (pancakes, bacon, fried potatoes, sausage) u name it, we eatin' it!  After breakfast, the boys go fishin' and us girls head out to take our hike! This hike has breathtaking views and goes around the side of the lake which, we never see the boys but, it's a nice time away, it's about a 2mi hike.  Then, we head back to camp, where the kids either have taco salad or tuna sammiches and we, well I, (Waseme act like she wanna play games and stuff) take a nap & the kids go down to the beach or playground.  Then, the boys come in from fishin wit that 1 sardine they caught and we start bbq'in.  The bbq has it all too...Hamburgers, Hot Dogs, Baby Backs, Potato Salad, White Corn on the Cob (I must emphasize the white cuz i hate yellow corn) and whatever else....Then-after dinner we usually all head down to the Lake store to take our 1 AND ONLY shower and get a scoop of that good ice cream & go back to camp and the kids make smores & drink & we talk smack and we tend to be a little loud! We tell scary stories, play cards, dominoes and get it in! NOW---There were 2 times when we tried to maximize our camping trip by going on Memorial Day weekend as most people do!  However, unfortunately, both times it rained...The 1st time we stuck wit it and pulled thru and the weather turned around. However, last year was what we adamantly refer to as, "THE CAMPING TRIP FROM HELL!" 1st, Waseme & Tootie weren't going to be there cuz they went to Tootie's b-ball tourney in Reno. Next, Nicky nor Eesh wud be coming either! We pressed on..We get there on Friday and the weather was a bit gloomy! So, that night it was cold but, we had our fish fry!  We put on more clothes and pushed thru.  After eating & some drinks we took it on in...That night in the tent, YES I SAID TENT, it poured!!!  I jus kept sayin' this is the camping trip from hell!  We awoke the next morning by the growling sounds of Derrick's snoring and we got up & Ebony & i cooked our breakfast and we ate..This time, we were gonna all go out on our boat and ride around the lake wit them and then go hiking!  We pull the boat down there.. everyone has on their life jackets and we in...Bennie & Derrick guide the boat down the boat launch and we get on the pier and hop in...So, Bennie starts the engine and we're ready!  Ebony brought the cd & we forgot to put it in..The cd player was in the glove box...the glove box was locked..Bennie took the key outta the ignition, unlocked the glove box and put in the cd...NOW-Here is the beginning of the end people!  He could not get the boat to re-start! I'm sitting there like a mummy in dis cute ass pink life vest that's collapsin' my lungs while da kids are getting restless cuz we ready to roll!!! Bennie & Derrick keep pullin' on it like a lawnmower & it acts like it's gonna start but, never does...By this time, i am seated right next to the engine & i guess the fumes got into my system becuz then i began laughing hysterically about what was happening with this whole camping fiasco..It was too hilarious!  I had to just laugh about it and i thought I musta been high!  After the last, and final attempt that's when We ALL decided it was time to go!  We cudn't take it! It was raining, cold & we couldn't get on da boat!?!  Outta here! It's appx 11am..Oh but it gets better...We pull out & we are so ready to get home!  As we are just about to hit Hwy 99-80 Derrick calls...He says, Hey, the trailer (that's pulling the boat) has a flat tire.  Huhn!?!?  WTF?  This cain't be happening?! We pull over, assess the damage... We then call our insurance company and they send us around & around & around & finally they find someone that can help us...We tell Derrick he doesn't have to stay wit us anymore cuz they had a tow coming to change the tire...Unfortunately the tow guy cudn't help us cuz it's a itty bitty trailer tire..Then, they put us in touch wit the mobile tire repair guy. He picks Bennie up & they drive like to the South side of Sacramento and my anxiety kickin' in..Dem kids is gettin' on my nerves..they eatin' up da campin' food..i'm jus tryin' to listen to my ipod...Then after about 2 hours stranded on da side of the road.. Here come a Hwy Patrol..Yall aiight!? Yep. We waitin' on a tire..Oooooo ok, Deuces!  It had been some time and i began to think that these people had kidnapped my husband & that he don' left me wit these kids....So, another hour or so passes & here they come!!!  Halelujah!!!  The man changes the tire, we thank him and hit the road!  At this point we really want to get home..It is now 4pm folks!  So, Bennie's strikin' We get on 80, make it down the causeway & Riorn Riorn Riorn..Red Lights, Blue Lights...GTHOH!!!!  We gettin' pulled over!  I'm grabbin' for gum cuz when were 1st stranded on Hwy 70 I had drank a Smirnoff Ice and never got rid of the bottle & altho that was like 4 hours ago and I wasn't driving I didn't want no 'probable cause' mess!! BUT- u never know! I'm scramblin' around askin' da kids to hide my bottle and Ebony da ANX-I-E-TY girl is like, OMG! OMG!  I can smell it!  Of course u can smell it doofus...U da one got it damn near in ur lap!!  The officer pulls us over & I'm jus in actin' mode already which, I really didn't have to act cuz it was a traumatic day for us.  While I'm actin' like Dorothy Dandridge he's not even paying any attention to me...He's strictly talking to Bennie about why he stopped us & painfully ignoring me.  He says we were driving in the wrong lane cuz we were towing the boat.. Duh fool! We know that....We wanna get HOOOOOOME!  He lets us go wit a warning & i'm like, whew!  We get back home and finish our Saturday there which was bbq and we'll never go camping on Memorial Day Weekend again!

My philosophy

What it do folks!?!?  So, today there is no one underlying message...First & foremost, I give God the glory for blessing me, for constantly working in me...Amen!  U know how you've been a good friend to someone all along and then u make a mistake and they cancel you!?"  Well, I am actually that same kind of person.  I will holla deuces on you in a minute! It's nothin'! However, i had a debacle earlier this week with someone i'm very close to.  I am a very trust worthy person & people always tell me their deepest darkest secrets cuz i will zip it!  Unfortunately, this person felt like they couldn't trust me because I told my HUSBAND something and he reacted!  I however, believe this to be an honest mistake. Here's what I told my daughter about it..."Tosh, if you have something ur dying to tell ur girlfriend about but, u don't want her husband/boyfriend to know-Don't tell that friend cuz she's ALMOST ALWAYS gonna tell her man!"  Of course there are exceptions to the rule, such as, "Ok girl, I wanna tell u this but, u canNOT tell (insert his name here)!!"  In this case, she shudn't tell him BUT if she does, that's ur fault and not hers because, once you let something fall outta ur mouf & into the universe, you can't be mad that ANYone finds out...This is crucial because this is where people tend to "BLOW IT" So, all praise be to Allah for putting Nicky on da phone wit me to calm me down & talk me off da bridge..I was about to jump yal..I guess Jehovah is working on me.. I must be maturing..Nicky said "Boop, stop it!  You always go waaaaaaaay to that extreme wit people!" Oops, my bad, she's right! I will not talk to you ever again in life!  It's nothin'! Maybe that's something else I should be working on?? One of my great philosophies is, "if you don't add to my life then u don't belong in my life!"  Can the chuuuuch say, Amen!  So, this lesson also dealt with exposure...In my opinion, as has been proven, whatever you do in life, whatever is done in the dark...will ALWAYS eventually come out!  Now, I was once in a sitch where I knew some information that was detrimental to a very close loved one...I don't kiss & tell...And, as my good friend Dollie, enlightened me about was, "What is your objective?"  i.e. What do you intend to gain by telling this information to this person?  Good job, Bob! That is it exactly!  So, i used this example when i talked to my daughter about it..."Tosh, so u remember when i went to jail (what? u don't have a past?!?), right?" What can i say, I'm an open book! Well, i was guilty of the crime per se but, it was basically outrageous that I went into custody....LOL!!  That's my story & I'm stickin' to it!  I continue, "Well in my 20's I used to shoplift (and not the ooooh she got it booster kind, the here is a cup of pens @ this check out counter so, imma jus take one kind & also, i don't do that anymore!!) "Now because I NEVER EVER got caught for my petty, felonious behavior, I did however, pay for it in another way, at another time!?!?!"  Ya dig!? I keep this WIDE OPEN communication with my kids because I want to equip them with academic, emotional & street knowledge (altho i can be game goofy at times)!  I want her to be a highly regarded woman when she grows up as well...She doesn't always like my FRANK conversations with her but, she has learned to appreciate it and grin & bear it!  My point is, people will always & continue to let you down. Altho u think you can..Revere yourself in the Lord and He will never let you down! Just know that you canNOT have expectations of people (flesh).  Otherwise, you'll be disappointed e'ry time!  I'll holllllla!

Withdrawal...

So, the Lakers ain't played since Tues, Apr 14 & I won't be seeing them again until Sun, Apr 19!  That's a looooooong time! Oh well!?  So, it's Friday, eat out night..And, Daddy has a game (softball) & we don't typically go (cuz i ain't sittin' out in da cold complainin' wishin da game was over & i shudnta came) but, I was gonna go tonight...The game is @ 6:15!?  I don't know if yal know or not...I don't drive...Well, I drive myself around everyday but, i'd rather Bennie come home and pick us up and we all go together...However, he wouldn't be able to make it in time for his game, sooooooo...We're SOL...I mean, I might still take the kids and go...Or, maybe next time..LOL!!  But, the game is in Concord and i might be able to use my Wonder Twin powers to have him take us all to Benihana for dinner tonight.. I on't know...Filipino fact #9, don't waste money on fine dining wit the kids!  Our kids, unfortunately have been to Benihana many times so, what's the big deal, el cheapo!?? Anyhoo...I wanted to take them somewhere nice tomorrow like, SF to Golden Gate park and jus have a picnic & fly a kite, or to the Exploratorium, something...Outside of the regular stuff...The oldest girl is on vacation this weekend and her and the middle girl decided to go to Marine World tomorrow which leaves us wit the little ones..And thank God Ping doesn't have school tomorrow cuz me & her (Leilani) by myself?  I'd prolly shoot my brains out!! BUT-i remembered... The playoffs start on Sat...That's like 4 games....Buuuuuuullcorn! We ain't goin' nowhere! There are 4 games on tomorrow..Noooooope!  Sorry kids..you better walk up da skreet to da park cuz ummmmm....It's goin down 'round here!!!!!! Basketball all day and then 48 hour mystery tomorrow night! Maybe, just maybe I can get him to jus lay around and cupcake...I doubt it but, if i walk around wit my T-shirt & my panties on...It'll work!  Yeah.. That gets 'im e'rytime! YaaaaaaaaaaY! Futch!  What am i gonna do?  I should take the babybacks out and he can bbq...But, Imma still have to come up wit something good on Sunday..It's our Sunday...We were @ the Little's Easter Sunday...Daaaaaaangit!  I need some good suggestions.. Cuz altho it's gonna be nice, I don't wanna have bbq...What I's gonna do!?!? We shall c!  Sunday is still 2 days away...I'm in Kobe withdrawal.. I think I'll jus watch an old game I still have stored on the DVR...LOL!!!!

Movin' On Up!

We moved!!!!!!  YaaaaaaaY!  It was a total pain but, we got it done!  First of all, we got cheated.. We lived in our home for 7 years and found the exact same model around da co'na and it had waaaaaaaaaaaay better upgrades and the backyard is twice the size of the old one.  Now, we don't have to be the ghetto family on the block that has their huge water slide right in da front yard.. Soooooo!?!?  Anyhoo.. so, 7 years of stuff is waaaaaay more than one might think.. We had the biggest U-Haul they have and it took 4 trips in that and about 10 trips in 3 of our own cars including the SUV...I'm so proud of me cuz i don't do move!!!!!!!  I ain't moved in 12 years so, I'm happy but, i guess it's cuz i was soooo excited about the new house.. And, cuz it was a fresh, new, CLEAN start.. And i will give dese kids da ppl's elbow if dey mess up our new home!  Anyhoo...Remember, I said i don't move right, well, that's cuz Bennie usually does it all and i jus move around pretendin' like i'm doin' something!!??So, we get the truck, and we go to Home Depot.. He picks up 4 mexicans and it was going to be $10/hour/person.. Okay.. we thinkin' oooooo it shud only take them abt 3 hours...Nooooooooope!  First of all, Mr. Bennie Kemp da Foreman didn't move sheeeeeeeit! He got me and the kids 'round there sweatin' like slaves tryin' to get it done an e'rytime i look @ him he walkin' around wit a beer in one hand and a cigarette in da otha'!?!  WTH!?!?  How bout u put that down and help us!!!!  Or, at least help yo' employees!  The representatives only had 1 person that speaks english and i'm tryin' to tell them stuff wit my rusty spanish & stuff.. and it's jus a hot mess!  Ebony scared to death tht they are gonna take somethin.. She keep lockin' tha door e'rytime i get out and i'm like-Doofus!  Imma need to go back in there!! They ain't thinkin' bout u, me or my purse.. They tryna make this money!!!  Good thing we only moved around da co'na.. Geeez!  It was waaaaaaay too much! Da eldest seent our new house and pleaded wit me to let her come back home.. So, i did.. whatev!  she still goin' to da military or, she gon' be pillow to post again!  Then! The DirecTV man is there and it takes him like 6 hours to get it hooked up cuz Mr. Kemp wants HDTV which requires an HDTV satellite.. I'm tellin' him he better hur'rup & get it done cuz da Lakers was comin' on @ 6! Whatev.. we tryin' to work it out... The mexicans started @ 9 and finished @ 4:10 & i had to go back to da bank twice to get them their $$$!!! Bennie went ahead and paid them for 8 hours=$320!  That's a steal! But, he ain't had to do nothin'.. i did.. That sucks!!!!!!!!! Wudn't nooooobody messin' wit me either.. And it's what i get too cuz i on't never help nobody when they movin' either!!  LOL!!  We moved on Wednesday & i was completely unpacked & furnished by Sunday!  I'm soooooo proud of myself.. Cuz Bennie ain't do nada! Okay well he does the financial part.. That poor boy.. His garage. Full of tools, equipment, work bench, work shed, weight bench, refrigerators, bikes, motorcycles, camping stuff, annual stuff, luggage and he had to organize it all!  Someone said. .OMG what about yal garage...I said.. I don't know.. don't care.. that's his garage.. that would be like me askin him to pack my kitchen..Uuuuuuuh nope!  Let me add this last little tidbit-So, my daughter is looking @ my sunglasses one day and she's like, "Mommy, can i have these?".. I'm like "Uh, noooo those are $200 sunglasses (altho yal know i only paid $49.99 for them @ Ross)" and she's like, "Well how you got them?"  I was like "I bought them!  Don't try to act like u jus woke up one day and i didn't work!  I said, "You remember Mommy used to have a job, right!?!?"  This child of God said, "O, yeayau and then u got fired!"  See y i don't like kids!!