Are there Black people in Rhode Island?!?!

So..as the girls & i scurry to get our last minute stuff from NYC... I get a call from Mommy..."Oh, Boop, Scottie (my bro) bought me a jade bangle & dial (the disc charm around ya neck)!  Oh, Boop! It's sooo pretty!" Now, first, my mother has always had and always loved jade...So, then she says, "And Boop this was purchased in China!"  WTH!?!  This worldly, artistic, every instrument-in-the band playing, fluent in Japanese, Shakesperian, College educated brother of mines don' out did me!  So I say, "Oh good Mom..That is sooo nice!"  As soon as i get off the phone wit her I tell Waseme & Nicky what Mommy just told me...Initially, I wasn't really gettin' nothin' cuz, they ain't have nothin' NEW..I start rantin' & ravin' about how Scottie don' trumped me and how in the heyell am i gonna top that!  All i brought my mom thus far was a bottle of Lolita perfume from Ross & a $20 bottle of Vera Wang Princess that i bought in NYC from a street vendor...Hmmph!  They ain't have nothin' and the reality is...it was my plight to come home wit' $$$ so, i really wasn't tryin' to spend any...LOL!!!  When we arrive back in Providence and we're laughin' and kickin' it wit the family & the surprise of my grandmother...It is then that I notice that somebody don' let my mommy drink...This lady can NOT & does NOT drink..but, hell, she's graduating...let her be..until-she starts messin' wit me!  Now, yal know i have ocd, adhd & a whole bunch of other stuff i don't care to mention...So, Nicky & Waseme told my mommy about how i was stressin' in NY about trumpin' dis fool...She then starts whinning to me about how she didn't raise us like that...and blah blah blah...I'm tryin' to tell her it's friendly competition...He's a mama's boy...& I'm a daddy's girl..who cares!? I'm only kidding!  He on the other hand, goes months @ a time missin' & he about to move to Japan...Now, yal tell me who looks good in the eyes of the parents :) Anyhoo...she trippin' and we're like, no more alcohol for her...and finally we get her settled down and we're all sittin' in the living room..I had already given her the Lolita so, all that drama reminded me of the Princess so, i went in the room grabbed it outta the bag then, brought it to her as this very prestigous gift...I got the attention of my family & as I handed it to her, I said, "Now, Mommy, this ain't from China but, it was made in China!"  LOLOLOL!!!  We all started crackin' up & this lady started to cry....WTH!?!  Mom's is sensitive yal..I got my Daddy's thick skin...Sorry...Once again, we had to tell her that it was just a joke..Daaaaaaang!  Scottie is the Einstein mofo while, I got jokes...I ain't tryna steal his spotlight...well, let me stop lyin' I steals all the spotlight, he's good @ chillin' in the background...LOL!!! The graduation on Sunday was a happy day but, it was friggin' rainin'..This is $400 hair..I cain't get it wet so, I went under the tent & sat in the chairs for the graduates...This Nosey lady decides to step in on this...She says, "Oh, u don't plan on staying there do you?" I said, "Yup!" She says, "Oh, well those seats are for the graduates!?"  I said, "Well then, I'm graduatin' today!" She was sooo HOT!!! I didn't tell her what I really thought of her so, why she gotta be all up in mines...Shoooooot! So, then sis (Waseme) comes to the side of the tent on my row & is trying to hand me something....Here she goes again...(to Waseme)"Ummmm this is for the graduates!" Don't mess wit my family!!!  I told her, "Look! That's my sister, I got this!"  She says, "Oh, you think so, huh!?" Thank you Lord Jesuuuuuuuus for having Scottie there with me!  I scowled at her and said, "I know I do!"  Scottie was like, Okay Boop c'mon c'mon let's go....I was about to give this lady the tomahawk slice, the people's elbow new & improved, slap her into a tuna melt, then cut her knees off with the elastic in the waist of her jeans! I had to goooooo! She's messin' up a nice day for me!  It's all good..She wudn't gon' steal my thunder! Mommy graduated with Honors & we were all cold & wet yet, happy!!  We heard the story of my mom's best friend who kicked her husband out...she said that he tried to come back & when he put his key in the door it bounced back!!!  We died laughin' yal...The rest of the evening we listened to a lot of funny stories..You'd have to have been there to enjoy it but, it was hi-lar-i-ous!!!