Egg Salad

I'm chillin' in da house.. You know... Got up, went to Starbucks & Raleys for a donut this am...Now..I'm sup'd to be spring cleaning..So, it was my intention to come home, and start purgin' some of these shoes i got and clean under my bathroom sink...NO motivation!  I chill..play around on facebook watch a li'l TV..Mind you, i have a midterm tomorrow and ain't studied fo' nothin'! I'm sittin on the computer and i have an epiphany!  Ben Ben said the other day that he wanted some egg salad..I want some too!  The kids can eat that when they get home from school today!  I go to da fridge, grab 8 eggs and put them on the stove..I had already texted Toshay and asked her if she was coming over today after school!? She said yes.. I can use her to help me purge.. No pro'lem.. So, she calls me and says she going to the mall to put in some app's cuz workin' in Vallejo is a huge inconvenience!  Then i hear her speaking to a girl that works @ Ross, and i'm like, you @ Ross!? She's like yeayau.. I'm like, kewl I'm on my way.. I throw my clothes back on and I'm out!  So, I get to Ross and i'm looking for new house stuff... The other day i was there and i got a firepit so we can sit on the new lawn furniture at Dusk and have a drink in front of the fire....Anyhoo-I'm perousing the housewares and i ain't findin' nothin'...I then go to kids clothes...No such luck.. Leilani needs some new slippers.. not new clothes...I then go to the boys section. Well, actually i found a pair of skinny jeans in the li'l girls section for my nephew Bishop...I text him to ask him if he'd like them.. I seent a pair for Bennie too and he already told me that skinny jeans were not for him..But, i'm tryin' to tell them that it's the new look and since they both have faux hawks it wud be appropriate!  Oh well..no response from Bishop so i put the jeans on hold...Toshay wanted to buy me some Juicy for my birthday but, i thought that was jus too much so, i told her about this dress i seent @ TJMaxx yesterday but the line was too long & i had to leave.. So, we put our stuff on hold and we get to TJMaxx.. I let Toshay drive cuz she doesn't drive a stick anymore and she says she misses it.. We get there..The dress is jus where i left it at and I grab it and I'm like, let's go...She had locked her friends keys in her car that works @ Ross and was sup'd to be back there @ 2 to help her wit AAA...She like, ok!  We make the purchase, i tell her thank you Toshay for my bd gift..As we walk outside, it is then that i realize...."Toshay!!!!  I left the eggs on at the house!!!" "OMG Mom!"  "Hurry Tosh!  We gotta go!!!!"  She asks me if i wanna drive cuz u know she ain't good at the bobbin' & weavin' like i am but, i got da Anx-i-e-ty and I know i shudn't.  I'm jus prayin' and prayin' and prayin'....I thought that i shud call 9-1-1 and have the Fire Dept go over there in case our house is up in flames...The CHP 9-1-1 lady comes on the line and I'm tellin' her my sitch...I tell her i ain't home but, I'm on my way...She says hang on Imma get Fairfield Fire Dept on the line...so, i talk to them and I told her the secret way the firefighters cud get into our house...They ask abt our dogs...Ooooooops!  Isis is a Rottweiler & she will eat tht a$$!  She asks me if they bite, I'm like i mean they have teeth!?!?  WTH u want me to say...if u don't hit one of them dogs wit the fire extinguisher or  some water and save my house!  By this time Toshay is goin' 90 and she is doin' quite well bobbin' & weavin'... She must get it from her mama!  I tell the dispatcher that i shud be home in 8 min cuz i'm appx @ the mall at this time...We comin' down the back way where u can see the back of our house.. I'm prayin' over & over the whole way.. And i don't see smoke.. Halelujah!!!  We bounce around the block and come to da front of the house...Made it in 5min...I see 5 firefighters playing cooey wit my dogs...If u don't run around to the back or take an ax to my door!!!!  Obviously they cared more about gettin' bit than seein' if everything was alright wit my house!  I run in the house and just as i expected... A thirsty pot wit boiled egg explosion!  I look around and it's egg spackle on the stove, on the sink and on the floor!  All i can think is Imma get in trouble... I'm about to lose my stay @ home privileges!!!! Ooooooo Nooooo!  I still ain't told Ping! He can jus read about it in my blog.. Sheeeeeeeit!  I ain't goin' down...The good part is, there was no fire, my pot wasn't even ruined, see that's why u buy the good stuff, from Ross tho' of course...But- now, I'm mad cuz i gotta clean up dis mess! Remember people I only clean when i have to...I got kids & I ain't read the emancipation proclamation therefore, that's how they pay their bills...But-that would just be wrong....I clean up my own egg spackle, boiled explosion and try my best to air it out....Whew! All of that cuz da filipino mentioned he wanted some egg salad...